KandyAndy and Kellie have written good answers. AnxiousAnxiety, I agree with them that the religious rules that sex has to be just one thing are shallow and wrong. Many of the women here say that what they do is sometimes like couseling, helping men and women get over some of their bad experiences. I can’t be sure a brothel experience would be the first, best thing for you, but you definitely deserve to talk a lot with non judgemental (probably not fundamentalist religious) people about your history. Everyone deserves to enjoy their life, with sex included!