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This is hilarious so far! I’m gonna try my hand at this. There will be two characters in my script. The first will be a man be the popular American name of Sir Cumsalot and a female by the delicate name of Iwonna Yurdik. The setting will be an innovative scene in which Sir Cumsalot orders a double pepperoni and cheese pizza which the busty beach blonde Iwonna delivers.

(Doorbell ring a triumph double tonic pitch to a perfect fifth – aka the Trojan Man(TM)jingle.)

SC: Who’s there?
IY: Did somebody order a pizza?
SC: You took a whole 15 minutes and 12 seconds. I should get the pizza free of charge.
IY: Let me come inside and we can discuss this.

(Iwonna enters and trips over a vacuum cleaner tide down by metal chains. The chains fall off and the vacuum revs then sucks off all of Iwonna’s cloths.)

SC: Oh, my God! You’re naked!
IY: I know! Don’t look! (She removes her arms from her chest) Look!

(Sir Cumsalot stares deep into her eyes for a very long 0.001 nano seconds and then takes a brief 10 minutes to observe her busty tits).

IY: Oh, my! What shall we do with all these metal chains. It seems to me I’m going to have to chain you up with them and force you to suck on my sweet, wet clit.

(In an effort to escape, Sir Cumsalot trips on the wild vacuum cleaner and sets it into reverse. It spews a thousands used condoms around his entire apartment).

SC’s aside: You probably think that we are going to use one of these condoms. I assure you we will not since it is inconsistent with clean and safe sexual practices. On behalf of Poor Porn Productions, I wish to remind you all that you should always check the expiration date before using a condom, keep them in a dry location at room temperature when in storage, and NEVER use a used condom, one that appears torn, or use two condoms for “double protection.”

(Next follows a compilation scene which show all four sex positions known to man. The scene conclude with Sir Cumsalot ejaculating the so much cum on the face of Iwonna Yurdik that it warrants 5 Grammies and becomes an instant favorite among all men everywhere).

Fin. (Or is it?)

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