Allissa, this is a great thing you’ve written. My response repeats what you have said, in different words. I have been to Shari’s only once, but I have experienced this other times with some strippers. Spending time with a woman who is happy with her sex, obviously enjoys what she is doing, and obviously enjoys my lust and my body, makes me feel more confident and honest and trusting with all women. All women in all non-sexual contexts, too, I mean. I guess I carry that guilt of believing that “men all want one thing” and that women are somehow always a bit of a victim. I know it’s not true, but that guilt is there. Being with someone like you, is a reminder that the next woman I talk to has her body, her feelings, her life, and her strength, and that none of that is dependent on me.
Newbie, I have unsolicited advice for you. (And in fact, I’m probably writing most of this for myself.) I’m sure you’d prefer Allissa rather than me to respond; I bet she will soon.
You did not rant. You sound scared and hurt. Here’s what you should do.
Come visit Shari’s. I’m overwhelmed to read so many comments from virgins and hurt men here. For these guys, places like this are truly doing good!
Before you come:
Look in the mirror and remember that you are one of a kind. Handsome or ugly or disfigured, you are still you, and have immense worth. I don’t know what good you have done in the world, but you have done some, and all of that is there in your face and body. (I think women can see this sort of worth better than men….)
Get a professional haircut in a salon from a woman attractive to you. Accept her advice if she has any. Shave. Trim your pubic hair.
Buy new underwear.
Go to a real men’s store and buy new slacks and a dress shirt.
Get a few thousand dollars. They can’t talk prices, but I’m pretty sure a few hundred dollars are not going get you what you need and deserve.
Call Shari’s and reserve one of their $75 rooms. Plan on staying a day.
Walk in the bar and immediately talk to the hostess and tell her you’re hanging out for a while, you’re going to find a lady, and that you intend to have a wonderful 24 hours. Admit you’re scared out of your wits, but don’t whine or dwell. Laugh with her! She’ll advise you. She’ll probably help you get your room. She may suggest sitting down and talking to different women.
Do you drink, Newbie? If you are a responsible drinker, have one now. (Do not drink more than a little!!!) Offer to buy a drink for every woman that you sit with.
When I went, it felt good to have the room available. As I walked to get it, as I came and went, I could pass by women and smile, I could walk through the line-up area, I could walk past the pool, I could feel at home a bit. It all helps relax one.
The women. I talked to at least five women more than a little. They were real people, with different styles, looks, ways of talking. It felt so good to talk, to joke, and to look, and then to know that all I’d have to say is, please I’d love to talk more in your room, and to know that we could go be alone and touch and have sex. I trusted everyone I met, that they would be 100% accepting and supportive. They are regular normal women, except that they have sex like this normally and are used to guys like us, and except that they are all really attractive. The women you talk to will want to relax you and teach you about how women and men can be with each other. The woman you will be with will absolutely have as good of a time as you do.