Thank you for the responses. They were of a lot of help for sure. If I could hear from some of the ladies, then I am sure that would help too. Regardless, thank you so much for your responses. I just want to know one thing is all:
I am not sure if I am really the type to do a night with a girl at the ranch. I feel really uneasy and it’s like I don’t feel ready for it. Obviously, I fit the bill as the nervous and shy virgin. If you read my story, you would know that I’ve been that way for my whole life basically. I would like to break out my shell of fear, as well as my shell of second-guessing. It feels like I am living a half of a life because of it, and I have a sense of shame and insecurity over my virgin status. After all, I’ve never been really kissed or had anything truly romantic in my life at all. I know deep down I want to experience these things. So, I can see this having great benefits. However, I get a bit unsure about doing it this way, since it means compromising my faith and integrity. So, I ask this in sincerity: do you think that I should do this despite my apprehension? Would it be worth it for me? And how do I get past my fear with this?