Funny Poems with Sexual innuendo or right to the point!

This topic contains 22 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  UKpete 4 years ago. This post has been viewed 942 times

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 23 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #5373

    Charina Lee
    Participant

    Hi Ladies and Gentlemen. I was wondering if anyone is interested in posting funny rhymes they may have come across that either imply a sexual meaning or get right to the point! LOL. The other day a gentleman recited this one to me….

    When I was young and in my prime,
    I used to do “it” ALL THE TIME….
    But now that I am old and grey,
    I only do “it” ONCE A DAY!

    #5376

    Charina Lee
    Participant

    Ok, I had to search the net a little, but here’s a few….
    roses are nice
    violets are fine.
    ill be the six
    if you be the nine.

    Sex is good
    Sex is fine
    Doggy Style & 69
    Just for fun
    Or gettin paid
    Everyone likes gettin laid LOL

    #5464

    Anonymous

    Roses are Red,
    Violets are blue,
    Sugar is sweet,
    And so are you,
    We had a chance to meet,
    And now I think I love you,
    So let’s make love until our bodies are beat!

    #5468

    schwalsr
    Participant

    There once was a pansy from Khartoum,
    Who took a lesbian up to his room,
    And they argued all night
    over who had the right
    to do what … and with which… and to whom!!!

    #5469

    schwalsr
    Participant

    It’s a hell of a situation up at Yale
    It’s a hell of a situation up at Yale
    It’s a hell of a situation
    so they resort to masturbation
    It’s a hell of a situation up at Yale!!

    #5482

    Charina Lee
    Participant

    OMG, you guys are so funny! I love it. And firefighter, oh my!!!! Let’s turn up the heat!!!!!!

    #5500

    Jazzmark007
    Participant

    My Bonnie she has a vagina
    She says that it’s always for sale.
    But she always comes back to MY bedroom
    ‘Cause my dick is as big as a whale.

    #5536

    UKpete
    Participant

    Sheris ranch for Halloween,
    Lovely ladies can be seen,
    Montana, Tiffany, red diamond and more,
    Eva, amber, Destini, liv, for sure,
    Dressed so sexy ready to please,
    They can bring men down to there knee’s,
    A wonderful place to have a good time,
    Oh thank The Lord sex isn’t a crime!!!
    πŸ™‚

    #5537

    schwalsr
    Participant

    LMAO UK Pete!!

    You are the Longfellow of erotic poetry. Any more where that came from??

    #5538

    Charina Lee
    Participant

    I like it when you lick my muffin,
    before you get to pokin and stuffin….
    Take your time, please don’t rush,
    if you want to see me squirm and blush…
    Kiss me here and kiss me there,
    Kiss my butt, if you dare…
    Make love to me, it’s not a sin,
    Your true adventure’s about to begin!!!!

    By Charina Lee!!!!

    #5539

    UKpete
    Participant

    Charina Lee I’d lick you dry,
    Oh so true I can not lie,
    I’d run kisses along your hips,
    Then slide my tongue inside your lips,
    Gentle sucking upon your clit,
    Bringing life alive to it,
    Your juices flowing down my chin,
    As you orgasm from deep within.

    #5540

    UKpete
    Participant

    Sheris ladies sexy and smart,
    They know how to grab your heart,
    With eyes that can hypnotise you,
    Anything for them you will do,
    Lips so kissable and alluring,
    A warm feeling to you they’ll bring,
    Love them all there so fine,
    In their own way their all so divine.

    #5541

    Charina Lee
    Participant

    You guys are so amazing….But it looks like UKpete just loves poetry….AND SEX! he, he, he!!!!

    #5542

    UKpete
    Participant

    I just love my sheris friends, it was Eva that got me post on here

    #5553

    Eva M
    Participant

    I love it!!! This is a great forum thread! UKpete I’m going to need you to show me some of the stuff you’re writing young man! So sexy and descriptive πŸ˜€

    #5582

    UKpete
    Participant

    Finding a ladies tickle spot is easy to do,
    Doing it right will keep her smiling at you,
    The clit is just a smaller version of a dick,
    Don’t lick it stick your mouth on and suck on it,
    When using the finger do it right,
    And you will give her pure delight,
    Don’t ram it in and bang away like mad,
    A knuckle and half in pressing down will make her glad,
    Two fingers will give her a thrill,
    Just one feels like a drill,
    When she’s dry it will make her sore,
    Getting her wet first will please her for sure,
    Listen to her breathing and moans for guidance,
    And you will surely please her so her hips jump and dance.

    #5587

    UKpete
    Participant

    A week to go till All Hallows’ Eve,
    In ghosts and goblins you might believe,
    Get yourself down to Sheris Ranch,
    And with the ladies have a sexy dance,

    Blondes, brunettes, red heads and more,
    The ladies here are a delight for sure,
    With their beauty you’ll be in a spell,
    They are fantastic at treating you well,

    Ladies in public but once behind a closed door,
    The horny little minx’s will satisfy you more,
    So pray your stamina is feeling alright,
    For once they have you they’ll ride you all night.

    #5596

    UKpete
    Participant

    Courtesan, prostitute, lady of the night,
    Whatever the name they are a delight,
    All through history they have been there,
    For mens needs they would care,

    Roman and Greek history even the bible,
    Their have been ladies with favours to sell,
    It is the oldest profession and still going strong,
    To last that long in time how can it be wrong,

    As in everything it can have a bad side to,
    But the genuine ones can be a delight for you,
    So keep of the streets and get to sheris,
    These ladies are legal, safe and taste like sweet cherrys.

    #5631

    UKpete
    Participant

    The ladies at sheris arnt just tits and ass,
    Educated, raised well there true class,
    Perfect appearance good manner well groomed,
    Treat them as ladies or you’ll be doomed,

    Alway friendly helpful a smile on the face,
    For true ladies sheris is the best place,
    A warm welcome awaits you and a sexy grin,
    These ladies radiate beauty from within,

    Weather your a millionaire or a average joe,
    This is definitely the friendliest place to go,
    From the time you drive up to the time you leave,
    The ladies and staff will help your nerves relieve.

    #5696

    UKpete
    Participant

    31st October all Hallo’s Eve,
    In ghosts and gouls you’ll believe,
    A night filled with terror and fright,
    Unless your at Sheris then it’s pure delight,

    All the ladies dressed so sexily,
    Truly is the best place to be,
    Skimpy clothes showing plenty of skin,
    One glance and their trance you’ll be in,

    All so alluring with their devilish charms,
    All you’ll want is them in your arms,
    Treat them right love them true,
    They will take you to heaven all night through,

    No need for pillows with Red Diamonds chest,
    She has a perfect spot to rest your head, :-0
    As for Eva Morales soft supple skin,
    Her sexy stare will draw you in, πŸ˜‰

    All so perfect and truly beautiful,
    You night will be anything but dull,
    So get down to sheris on this spooky night,
    And let these goddess’s treat you to a delight.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  UKpete.
Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 23 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.