Porn Cheese

This topic contains 9 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Leto 2 years, 8 months ago. This post has been viewed 986 times

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  • #11898

    Tatyana
    Participant

    Let’s see who can write the silliest porn dialogue. Then at the end we’ll put it all together in a script and send it to Steven Hirsch.

    Maybe we can call it: When Harry Dick Met Sally.
    Here, I’ll start.

    Sally: Oh no! My panties fell off on the way back from the restaurant! (sigh) Do you like it when I touch myself here?

    Harry Dick: Give me that come, Honey. I want it in my mouth. Come on, give it to me.

    Sally: I love it when you look at me that way.

    Harry Dick: I always get what I want.

    Sally: Undress and wait for me in the bedroom.

    Harry Dick: Don’t you dare come until I say you can.

    Continued…

    #11910

    Flint
    Participant

    This sounds awful.

    #11913

    Leto
    Participant

    LOL Flint

    #11915
    Profile photo of
    Anonymous

    Dear Porn Writer Tatyana,

    I love it! Furthermore, if you and I were involved, your panties may not have fallen off since I may have chewed them off! :) 😉

    XO FF

    P.S. I wish I could have spent special intimate time with you recently, but I was on a really tight schedule; however, I hope our visits coincide on my next trip!

    #12045

    Tatyana
    Participant

    Sally: Just lie back and let me make you come.
    HD: You taste so good.
    Sally: You can have me any way you want, Baby.
    HD: I want you every which way.
    Sally: Look how ready I am. Don’t you want to put your dick in there?

    #12053

    Leto
    Participant

    Harry Dick: Yes I do Sally…hold on a minute while my Viagra(TM) takes effect.
    Sally: Ok Harry…..hey, now wait, that’s not Viagra(TM) you popped…that was some marijuana brownies Leto brought in from Denver…..!
    Harry Dick: WTF?…..wait until I…..I……ohhhhhh…….hey that ceiling looks cooolllll man….

    #12057

    CandyAndy
    Participant

    This is hilarious so far! I’m gonna try my hand at this. There will be two characters in my script. The first will be a man be the popular American name of Sir Cumsalot and a female by the delicate name of Iwonna Yurdik. The setting will be an innovative scene in which Sir Cumsalot orders a double pepperoni and cheese pizza which the busty beach blonde Iwonna delivers.

    (Doorbell ring a triumph double tonic pitch to a perfect fifth – aka the Trojan Man(TM)jingle.)

    SC: Who’s there?
    IY: Did somebody order a pizza?
    SC: You took a whole 15 minutes and 12 seconds. I should get the pizza free of charge.
    IY: Let me come inside and we can discuss this.

    (Iwonna enters and trips over a vacuum cleaner tide down by metal chains. The chains fall off and the vacuum revs then sucks off all of Iwonna’s cloths.)

    SC: Oh, my God! You’re naked!
    IY: I know! Don’t look! (She removes her arms from her chest) Look!

    (Sir Cumsalot stares deep into her eyes for a very long 0.001 nano seconds and then takes a brief 10 minutes to observe her busty tits).

    IY: Oh, my! What shall we do with all these metal chains. It seems to me I’m going to have to chain you up with them and force you to suck on my sweet, wet clit.

    (In an effort to escape, Sir Cumsalot trips on the wild vacuum cleaner and sets it into reverse. It spews a thousands used condoms around his entire apartment).

    SC’s aside: You probably think that we are going to use one of these condoms. I assure you we will not since it is inconsistent with clean and safe sexual practices. On behalf of Poor Porn Productions, I wish to remind you all that you should always check the expiration date before using a condom, keep them in a dry location at room temperature when in storage, and NEVER use a used condom, one that appears torn, or use two condoms for “double protection.”

    (Next follows a compilation scene which show all four sex positions known to man. The scene conclude with Sir Cumsalot ejaculating the so much cum on the face of Iwonna Yurdik that it warrants 5 Grammies and becomes an instant favorite among all men everywhere).

    Fin. (Or is it?)

    #12088

    Eva M
    Participant

    This has me laughing so loud. I love just about everything Tatyana’s writes. Thanks Leto and Andy for your participation. I would ad my own but I can’t stop laughing to come up with something sexy, witty and slightly raunchy to give everyone a good laugh.

    #12092

    CandyAndy
    Participant

    We look forward to your addition, Eva. Hopefully your giggle fit subsides soon.

    I was also thinking about the opening for the script. Perhaps we can do a take like the opening of the television show “Full House.” The camera will catch all the characters in the middle of their sex acts which will catch the characters off guard at first. But they’ll then realize they are on video so will relax, smile and wave back.

    #12093

    Leto
    Participant

    Sally: ….Harry……..Harry………HARRY !! Wake up! It’s been six hours you’ve been zoned out….!!
    Harry Dick: woah man…that was tripping……Hey, you know what I need now, Sally?
    Sally: What, Harry?
    Harry Dick: I need you and those smoking hot girls Tatyana and Eva to all get here in this bungalow and let’s have a Blow-Out Party! And put on that new movie, “The Interview” with Seth Rogan….I’ve heard great things about it!
    Sally: Sounds great Harry…I’ll go get them!

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  Leto.
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