Nervous and Shy Virgin

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  • #16640
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    This post is a little long. I’m sorry for that. This is just a little hard for me, and it will be a little hard for me to do this. So, please, bear with me. I think it’s just best I tell you my story.

    Obviously, as you read the headline, you can tell that I am basically a virgin. Yup, I am. I am a 25 year-old black male virgin. It’s odd, isn’t it? I definitely feel it is. However, getting to this point probably isn’t weird (shy, timid, never dated). Anyway, what lately become weird are my feelings about being a virgin. I used to appreciate and think highly of my virginity. However, with everybody already probably having sex already, I have lately felt a bit pathetic over my virginity, and I have basically contemplated just getting rid of it altogether. Let me tell you why.

    When I was a kid, I wasn’t popular. I was quite the geek when I was in school. I was really into trivia, poetry, video games, and especially music. Thus, the love song junkie name. To put it bluntly, I was a skinny nerd, and I didn’t have many friends in school. I was basically an outcast for being so nerdy. I made A’s in school, but I failed in social ability. I never went out to parties or hung out parties with the guys. I wasn’t ever invited for starters. If I were, though, it wouldn’t have mattered, though. I was too scared of things to even go for things. Nothing scared me more than girls.

    I never went out with any girls in high school. I was a scared, timid kid in high school. I mean, I got the shakes and everything. I would violently shake and get weak-knees from just being around girls. I’d even want to faint and feel like having a heart attack whenever there were pretty girls around. I just was too scared around women. It’s how I got the awkward title for sure.

    I still suffer from the weak-knees, fainting, and violent shakes to this day. It’s helped me basically stay away and stave off women more than anything. I didn’t meet any girls in school, and I couldn’t muster any courage to talk to girls. I just was so awkward to feel like I would have any success. I wasn’t all that attractive to women, and women never really noticed me. I can’t blame them. I was (and still am) a rail-thin guy without lots of appeal. I would get so nervous around girls, and I ended up turning coward from it all. The moments where I would actually develop a crush, I just couldn’t find the courage to ask her out. I had no confidence, and I wasn’t able to approach her. I admired girls from afar and missed my chances to ever get a date. So, I went dateless in high school. (Although, hedging my bets, I bet she would have said no if I had tried.)

    It led to a lot of lonely Friday nights where I would play video games by myself, with the rest of the world having fun dating in the meanwhile. It also led me to my love of poetry and prose, but my life was still not so exciting.

    I finished high school and college without a girlfriend. Yup, college was the same as high school. I turned from high school virgin (when most by statistics lose their virginity) to adult virgin (which is where I stand right now). I am now the 25 year-old virgin, and it’s a bit comical to most. A bit strange. My family seems somewhat ok with it (especially as we’re a Christian spiritual family), but I feel lousy a lot of the time. While I can be glad for not having baby mamas and drama from that, I don’t feel like celebrating the fact no woman has ever shown interest in me.

    I mean, not only have I not had sex, but I haven’t even been kissed or on a date. That feels a bit pathetic to me. I have a hard time thinking about it like that. I have ended up a kissless virgin, and it doesn’t feel good honestly. My virginity has now turned into a shameful secret, and it’s one I often want to get away from. If people were to find out this, I am sure they would laugh at me and I’d just die of embarrassment. Well, not literally, but it’s still painful to me.

    Anyway, none of that embarrassment can possibly equate to what I often feel daily. It’s like I have missed out on life being so sheltered. Becoming a 25 year-old virgin has become a bit of an albatross for me, especially coming from a red state where it is an expectation that one has kids and a baby by the time one’s my age. Marriage and kids is almost mandatory, especially in church, and I enter the equation having neither, not really looking for either one. Because of that, I feel alienated from everybody else in the world as not only a single guy, but a virgin also. I struggle to fit in, and I just don’t feel confident, which shockingly is the same way I feel when I approach women. Confident. Confident. Boy, does that seem like the thing that’s been missing for me!

    I am the literal definition of “party of one”. Everywhere I go I have felt like a weirdo because I just have been alone. It’s pretty weird to sit in a restaurant by yourself and order dinner as a party of one. It’s just too weird. However, I am tired of the Friday night solo session. I think I would like to change that and actually approach people for once in my life. So, I feel set to try to change that. I just have one barrier in the way all the time: My virginity. It’s a true barrier.

    Anytime that I try talking to a woman (or anyone for that matter), I always feel like I had this virgin vibe coming from me. I felt like girls could just tell I was a virgin. It was hanging around in my head because of it. I am always 2nd-guessing myself where I wonder stuff in my head and I feel so self-conscious because of it. I just don’t know what to do when it comes to women, and I act like the goofy, geeky, shy virgin I am, all leading to failure.

    I am worried that someone will find out my virginity and run away from me because of it. I don’t know if that’s true, but I have heard that does happen to virgin guys. So, I set out in my mind before that I wanted to finally lose my virginity. However, I didn’t know where to start.

    See, I don’t think I want to be a 50 year-old virgin never having had a girl want him. I’m quite the romantic, and I always dreamed and fantasized what it would be like to actually make love. I also am not sure I want to go through life never feeling a touch, kiss, and embrace from a woman. I want to feel it and find out if it’s as amazing as I imagine. I want to be kissed, touched, held, and loved by someone for once in my life, with a girl telling me she wants me and she loves me. See, I originally thought I would get married, but I don’t think I’ll get married, so there goes that. I do, though, want to experience my first time for the first time and not be a virgin forever.

    It’s not just for the physical pleasure either, but to get rid of the “albatross” on my neck. I am tired of being so shy, so timid, so afraid, and I want to finally feel confident about me where I’m not missing out on life. If losing my virginity is what it takes, then maybe I should. Nothing can be worse than feeling like a loser virgin, right? It’s like I’m not even a “real man”, which is what most say anyway. So, I guess I need to become one, right?

    That’s how I actually found you guys. I actually found out about you guys from a google search on male virgins and first time sex. You guys came up in one of the searches through an article here, and I decided to click on it. I never knew I would find this, but I did anyway. I read the article, and it explained me in a form. However, one of the things I noticed is that there were girs who were actually into virgins, something I had never heard before. Most girls in the past weren’t into virgins and taking a guy’s virginity away. It’s not a confident thing to be a virgin, I guess. However, I was reading of how girls were into virgins and they were okay with a guy being a virgin. They even had a “virgin deflowering”, which they would take his virginity away, act like girlfriend and teacher, and bring a fantasy to life, I guess. It was something I had never heard before in my sheltered life, but it actually delighted me in a way, even though it went against my faith really (don’t laugh, ok?). I mean, there are rather beautiful women who would be interested in taking a guy’s virginity, a virgin like me? It’s a novel thing for someone like me. I definitely felt like I could finally find a bit of “interest”. Finally!

    So, after reading all that, I have begun to start thinking of losing my virginity at your ranch. Just consider.

    Let me be clear, though: I am really unsure over all this and am honestly nervous over this. I have qualms over losing my virginity to a prostitute, because prostitution has always been a no-go to me by faith values. I know, weird that I’m here. With the sex trade and trafficking, I feel a bit scared to even embark on such a thing as hiring an escort. It feels too much like just using a girl in dishonor, I guess. Even though I hear how much some women delight in doing prostitution, it just seems like it isn’t right at all. Plus, I never thought I’d pay for an escort. I always envisioned that my first time would be something different. This is new territory for me, definitely. I’ve basically have never been around a woman before. I’ve never been close to a girl before. I’ve never been naked with somebody before Heck, I’ve never even seen a naked girl before (well up close at least)! Nerve-racking.

    I feel nervous being this would be the 1st rodeo. I am scared I wouldn’t know what to do, and I am scared to mess up. I don’t want to be “inadequate” in any way at all. However, I know with my 1st time, that it could happen to me.

    So, I have fear and apprehension over doing something like this, something I have never done before. It’s a lot of fear. However, I feel like living past my fears. I feel like I need to become ready to do this, and I feel like I need to become bold. That’s what I hope to do. I just need some convincing to do it before.

    It would be a while before I would ever go up to the ranch, because it will take some time to actually make my decision and think things out. Plus, I would actually have to make a trip out to Nevada since I live away and take time away to do that. Before I would ever do that, though, I need to know a few things beforehand and have a few questions answered. I came up with 10 sets of questions to start. I want your opinions and/or expertise on these, so please answer them for me, ok?

    1) Is the ranch a truly safe place? Are there like bodyguards or something protecting the place, so nothing bad would happen? Also, do the girls regularly get tested and practice safe sex?

    2) How would I know which girls are into sex with virgins?

    3) Is there allowed time to have a conversation with a girl to build up rapport and chemistry? I don’t want to have it feel like I met a stranger. I want it to be with a girl I feel like I know and have communicated with, I guess. It doesn’t feel all too casual that way.

    4) Do I have to drink at the ranch? And do the girls drink? I don’t drink, and I’m not looking to have sex with a girl who is drunk or anything. It’s a personal thing.

    5) I always envisioned having romantic music playing for my first time. Something soft and sensous, with some beautiful melody. Would there be any way to have some music playing in the room if I were to do this? I just want to know.

    6) Will the girls tell you if you are doing a “good” job? And what if I end up “finishing” fast?

    7) Can I kiss? Is kissing allowed? I wonder because I would like to be kissed. I want to make it as romantic as possible, and not just about the act itself but everything up to it. Kissing feels like a big deal to me. So, I wonder if I am allowed to do any kissing. Is intimate touching and caressing something permitted too?

    8) Can you pick a girl to lose your virginity to? And can you talk to a girl before you actually get together? Is there any way you could talk to one of the girls before actually meeting to build that relationship up? Or is that forbidden?

    9) Would it be an amazing experience losing my virginity? I want it to be special and amazing!
    Also, Would the girls be into me, even being a skinny guy? I mean, I have an athletic body, but I’m skinny. I just wonder if the girls would find me attractive or not.

    10) Do you think this virgin experience will give me the confidence I have been looking for?

    I know it seems like a lot of questions, but I really am asking to know more. I’ve never done this (obviously), and it’s such a deep jump for me. Being new to this, I’m a bit afraid, and having all of these questions answered would be so great for me. If you could answer them, a big thanks to you. I hope to talk more, but I guess that’s all for me now.

    Lovesongjunkie

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16641
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    Sorry the post is so long, but I write in detail, I guess.

    #16646
    Profile photo of Keolts
    Keolts
    Participant

    Hello S.T.

    First off I want to say I totally understand your situation and concerns. I was 58 when I gave up my virginity at Sheri’s and, like you, I was shy in high school & college & didn’t date. As I’m sure you can imagine the insecurities that you are feeling now at 25 were only magnified for me at 58.

    The ladies at Sheri’s are amazing. The is no reason to think that you will find anything other that ladies who are understanding of your situation and excited to assist you in starting a new phase of your life. Don’t let you age, color, ethnicity or physical appearance deter you, as long as you treat the ladies with respect, which from reading your post I’m sure you would do, you will always find numerous courtesans who will desire to spend time with you.

    To answer some of your specific questions: Sheri’s is an extreme safe place to enjoy yourself. There are security people on site to make sure that both employees & customers never have to worry about their safety. As far as you concerns on medical safety, all of the courtesans are tested for venereal diseases on an weekly basis & there has never been a case of a customer catching any disease at any legal brothel in Nevada.

    To find out which ladies cater to virgins, click on “ladies” in the pull-down menu & then click on the arrow next to “quick search a lady by name”. This will bring you to a screen where you can put in some tentative dates & then click on “by what she caters to” & mark virgins. This will give you an idea of some of the wonderful ladies who love to party with virgins.

    To talk with the ladies, just go into the bar & you can have short conversations with numerous ladies until you find someone you are comfortable with. You don’t have to drink in the bar & although many of the ladies do drink not all of them do. I don’t think you have to worry about partying with a lady who has had more to drink than you are comfortable with.

    Over the last 5 years I have had many parties at Sheri’s and I have never had a party where the lady hasn’t asked me about what type of music I’d like in the background while we enjoy each other’s company.

    Kissing is something that each lady decides for herself & you should bring up the concept with any lady you are considering having a party with.

    Will you have an amazing experience? I think every person on this board will agree that there isn’t a single person at Sheri’s from Madame Dena, to the courtesans to the support staff to the other customers who not only hope every experience you have at Sheri’s is amazing but will do everything thing that they can to make your experience unforgettable.

    If I have one piece of advise for someone in your situation, if you have the time plan to spend the night in Sheri’s hotel & then arrive early in the afternoon. This way you have plenty of time to just relax, hang out in the bar or on the property & get acquainted with whichever ladies happen to be in attendance. If you are able to do this I guarantee you will meet multiple ladies whom you feel a connection with who would be very interested in relieving you of your of your virginity & then you can make a choice and enjoy yourself to the fullest.

    I know I didn’t answer all of your question but hopefully I’ve been of some help & I’m sure the ladies will answer any questions that I’ve missed.

    Just put some money together, choose a date and go for it…you won’t regret it.

    #16649

    Flint
    Participant

    st:
    1) the girls are weekly tested. yes the place is safe, as I was escorted to a bungalow by a security sized man.
    2)you can look at each lady’s page for swhat she cateres to, for virgin or go to search ladies and click on virgin from the choices menu.
    3)you can get to know a lady ahead of time via emailing her. You can sit at the bar and talk to each lady for 10 minutes before having to move on.
    4)No one will force you to drink alcohol, although the aldies waiting in the bar are likely to be doing so.
    5)You can bring your own music and ask the lady if she will play it.
    6)you can ask your lady to teach you a variety of things, if that is what you mean. unless you negotiate for multiplke orgasms, your party ends after your first one.
    7) kissing is depending on each lady. Some will not, some will kiss a little some will French Kiss.
    8)this seems like #3. of course you can select the lady for your party.
    9) good manners and grooming are more important than “pumpitude”. If they let me in Sheri’s you should have no problem.
    10)I cannot answer this one as confidence in any task takes time.
    Hopefully some of these answers are helpful to you.

    #16651
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    Thank you for the responses. They were of a lot of help for sure. If I could hear from some of the ladies, then I am sure that would help too. Regardless, thank you so much for your responses. I just want to know one thing is all:

    I am not sure if I am really the type to do a night with a girl at the ranch. I feel really uneasy and it’s like I don’t feel ready for it. Obviously, I fit the bill as the nervous and shy virgin. If you read my story, you would know that I’ve been that way for my whole life basically. I would like to break out my shell of fear, as well as my shell of second-guessing. It feels like I am living a half of a life because of it, and I have a sense of shame and insecurity over my virgin status. After all, I’ve never been really kissed or had anything truly romantic in my life at all. I know deep down I want to experience these things. So, I can see this having great benefits. However, I get a bit unsure about doing it this way, since it means compromising my faith and integrity. So, I ask this in sincerity: do you think that I should do this despite my apprehension? Would it be worth it for me? And how do I get past my fear with this?

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16656
    Profile photo of kane
    kane
    Participant

    I am sure a few of the ladies will reply to this thread soon, and I can’t speak to losing your virginity at Sheri’s, but I can tell you that the ladies and staff of Sheri’s are wonderful and you would feel welcomed there and would certainly fit in.
    Keolts and flint have given you some great advice above and I would second Keolts’ recommendation to spend the night at the hotel and arrive in the afternoon. Also, Flint is spot on about emailing the ladies, but realize that they are only able to answer emails when actually at the ranch and that they number of computers is limited there, so do not think that you are being ignored if it takes a little while to receive a reply. Alternatively, many of the ladies are on twitter, and can access it even when not at the ranch and that is another option to communicate with them, through private message on twitter if you have an account. I used email to contact ladies months ahead of my visit and built such a rapport with one particular courtesan that I wound up just making an appointment with her, and when I arrived at the ranch, we sat in the bar and talked and laughed and had a good time for a short while that improved our connection even further. I surprisingly, felt very relaxed the whole time I was there and I think the fact that I had gotten to know the lady ahead of time is why I did not have the nerves I expected to have, so that later that night, when I returned to the bar to meet the lady for our party it was a magical time. Now, you may not want to make an appointment with someone ahead of time, and it isn’t necessary and you may want to wait until you meet the ladies in person before choosing one to party with, but do consider contacting them ahead of time and getting to know them before you arrive, as that will, I believe make the whole thing less stressful. At least that was my experience.
    This is the best advice I can give you: Set a date far enough ahead that you will have time to contact some of the ladies and then do a search by date and see who is scheduled to be there, look at the profiles and send introductory messages to any of those ladies that interest you, telling them of your interest and go from there. Also, check back occasionally on the site to see if other ladies that might interest you may have added that date to their schedules.
    Best of luck to you and I have no doubt that the ladies and staff of Sheri’s will show you a wonderful time

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of kane kane.
    #16658

    Flint
    Participant

    yes it is so that the ladies cannot access their mail while away from the Ranch. Some are better getting back to you than others so patience is critical. I perfer the email method of getting ot know a lady, but Twitter may work for you.
    No matter whom you select try to relax and enjoy the experience, even if the first visit seems overwhelming.

    #16661
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    Thanks for he advice, but I don’t think I could relax at all. Even thinking about losing my virginity makes me nervous. I’ve begun shaking again, and the fainting.

    #16681
    Profile photo of techieguy80
    techieguy80
    Participant

    Welcome to the forum ST, reading your post was almost exactly my story before I visited the ranch. I didn’t have the shakes and the fainting around women, but I was the lonely, nerdy guy through school who didn’t go to parties or date. I had dated a couple women later in life and kissed them, I think one of them even broke up with me because of my virginity. It took me a couple years after that to realize it was going to be a barrier until I broke through it. I didn’t visit the ranch to lose my virginity until 2 days before my 30th birthday and it was without a doubt the best decision for me. The others have given great advice as well, here’s my response to your questions. Give it some time and hopefully a couple of the ladies will chime in as well.

    1) It is absolutely a safe place, they have a security guard on duty 24/7. The girls are tested every week and safe sex is required by law.

    2) I think most all of the ladies would be into helping you lose your virginity, but check their profiles and they will have it listed.

    3) Yes, I would recommend staying at the hotel on site to allow yourself time to settle in to the surroundings and relax. This would also give you plenty of time to visit with the ladies in the bar and find the right one for you.

    4) Nobody will force you to do anything you don’t want to do. The girls are allowed to drink, but are limited to how many they can have in the bar.

    5) Definitely, most of the girls have a variety of music to play during the party.

    6) Yes, they can give you feedback and you’ll be able to tell by their reactions as well. There’s no shame in finishing fast, they are some of the most beautiful women you’ll ever meet and they are great at their job.

    7) Kissing is a grey area, each lady sets her own rules on what she is comfortable with, it is something you would have to discuss when negotiating the party.

    8) You absolutely pick who you party with, it’s your money. You can talk to the available ladies in the bar once you arrive, prior to arrival email correspondence is encouraged (just know they can’t check email while away from the Ranch, so responses might be slow.

    9) It would be an amazing experience at Sheri’s, I still remember my first time like it was yesterday. The ladies are no different than women in the “real world” they all have their type I’m sure, but when you’re with them you will feel like a million bucks.

    10) Everybody is different and some of that confidence has to come from the inside, in my case the Ranch has helped me in that department more than I ever imagined it would.

    PS: I’ve been visiting for almost 6 years and I still get nervous making the walk down the hall to the ladies room before a party.

    #16684

    Flint
    Participant

    maybe you need to book a hotel room a day before your party. the day before hang out in the bar and talk to the ladies. Pick the one you want and schedule it for the next day. if you cannot wait do it then.

    #16695
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    Yeah, I would have to say that I would love it if I could find a girl who would lay next to me and caress and kiss me all throughout like we were making love. It would also make it easier to find a girl who doesn’t make me scared to talk to her or something. I don’t even think I have moved to the bases yet, let alone have sex. I have one thing to thank, and I know it by name: shell of fear. I have lived in such a shell of fear, so afraid to make any moves at all, and I have lived in this isolation because of it. I don’t have anybody now because I am afraid to make a move. What’s worse is that even if I were to make a move at all, I don’t think I would even know how to do it. I basically live in my little box, and it kept me away from harm for so long. Now, though it has left me afraid to move, and I freeze up to do so.

    All in all, now I am just a lonely guy. A lonely virgin guy. Kissless too. I haven’t even held hands with a girl before. I mean, I haven’t experienced all those things that everybody else is supposed to do. I am basically behind everyone else, and I am stuck there too. What girl would be interested in me? I mean, I can barely talk to one, and I shake, stammer, and embarrass myself in the process to where I want to hold my head low. I definitely am not the smooth operator, and I don’t have the ability to draw people magnetically. I speak in such a soft voice, with like no bass, and I am often afraid to speak up because I’m so passive. I hate it so much, but I am somehow stuck like this. I just turn timid too easily, and I can’t understand why. All that combined with a skinny physique (which women find so hot… NOT!) and you have the me virgin. It’s so shameful a life, I’m finding out.

    I just feel trapped in myself, and it’s like its own prison being me some days. I look at everyone else, and I see people enjoying themselves and having a good time. Yet here am I, and I basically stick out as the sore thumb unable to fit in anywhere. I’m so soft and pathetic that I just can’t seem to deliver when it counts. Yup, there it is. I’m soft, I’m weak, I’m a weak man. I’m just not good enough or tough enough. My virginity tells me that.

    I’m a wimp, I’m a wimp. I’m not a real man, and I know this. I need to become a real man. I’m so tired of being the one guy who always freezes and enters into the ‘friend zone’ with women. I’m tired of feeling like a loser. I’m tired of having no confidence. I am tired of being the guy who admires from afar and fantasizes about different women that he’s scared to talk to in real life. I’m tired of being rejected, I’m tired of feeling unworthy, and I’m tired of feeling like I’m less of a man. I’m tired of feeling so low-status. I am tired of being on the sidelines and never truly in the game. It’s no fun, and it’s a lonely existence.

    It’s as if I am the shy guy in the corner, and I just go unnoticed through it all. Then when I do get noticed, I am the shy, awkward, loser guy. I bet most people can tell and read that I’m a virgin. It’s probably on my forehead or something. I am literally lagging behind, and it is displayed every single day, as I’m the odd man out. Maybe I need this so that I can finally become more confident and actually be cool for once. Who knows?

    I sometimes wonder if I even matter after most days. Sometimes my thoughts secretly say I am wasting my time. It’s better to find out for once, right? Maybe being loved by somebody (even if it’s for only like 1 night of acceptance) is what I need most. Maybe it would give me the confidence I have been looking for, maybe it will make me fearless, maybe it will boost my ability up. At least I hope, because I don’t like being myself, the soft and timid shy virgin who just can’t interact with anyone (women definitely). I just want things to change for me, and actually have some semblance of a life, not a pathetic one in which I’m the loser all the time.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16697
    Profile photo of techieguy80
    techieguy80
    Participant

    I understand a lot of what you are saying poetic, the Ranch and the ladies there just have a way of making things different. I can walk into the bar @ Sheri’s and talk to the incredibly beautiful half naked women way easier than I can talk to an average fully clothed woman in a regular bar. I can only imagine that is because when in the regular bar I feel like I have to impress women so they will be interested in dating me, while in Sheri’s that’s not the case and most of the time it’s the other way around, the ladies are trying to impress you so they get your business. It really is a one of a kind place and losing that burden of virginity is an incredible feeling, then there is nothing to worry about back in the real world because you know what to expect in all stages of the process. Sure every woman is different in what they like, etc. but just knowing that you can get through it is a big step in the right direction.

    #16698

    Flint
    Participant

    I do not see you as a wimp, just really shy. maybe you need a best friend to “drag” you to the Ranch and stay in the bar until your first party is over?

    #16706
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    Yes, I think that would be great idea to think about. I am not really trying to go after a woman who I probably expect a rejection from. At least from that end, I can basically assume that girls would talk to me. I really think I am in need of seeing someone about this. It’s like I am emitting some sort of aura about me that somehow is easy to tell how I don’t have a girl I’m with. I hope it doesn’t come out that I’m a virgin, but it seems to probably be easy to tell, I guess. Oh, man. I can easily see how sheepishly weak & shy I am in my life, and it is sickening to me. I hope to not let this continue, for the life of me.

    I know I have this passion and fire inside me that is just waiting to come out, and I know I have this internal person who wants to feel loved and to give some to another person, but I am so worried that I will not be able to know what to do and I will look stupid over it. I haven’t had a woman even touch me, let alone kiss me. I also haven’t had a woman even say she would have sex with me. It honestly scares me to think about it. I might freak out over a girl touching me. I’m not comfortable, i believe. I’m a little unsure I will be able to know what to do, but I do know I don’t want to be the only one who hasn’t done it. I hope to finally have that special something, that first kiss, that first night, that first time. I want to have it all. I don’t want to be the only one without ever having one and be the perpetual virgin, I think. I want to finally experience some passionate moments in life, giving kisses and some other romantic things through sexuality, like everyone else does. It’s like joining the club, I guess.

    I do know, however, that I feel scared about it all. I am afraid of it all. I fear it won’t go too well. I fear messing up. I fear failure. What if I’m not any good? Will she say it to me? What will happen if I like suck? Those are the thoughts running in my mind every time I think about sex. Fear holds me back for sure. It might crush me inside if it does. I hope to be perfect, but I fear I won’t. I’m such a nerdy geek that I probably am not the type women want anyway. I’m not exactly a turn-on, if you know what I mean. I am so afraid, like fainting afraid. The wimpy nervous guy is coming again. I wonder if there is any way my fears can be assuaged. Maybe since she so experienced, she can help me do all this. Maybe she will help teach me what to do.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16712
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    What should I expect from sex, honestly? Quick question? I don’t even think I know what sex feels like. I’ve never held a woman, I’ve never touched a woman, I don’t even think I can count kissing either. I am so inexperienced that I don’t know what to expect. What am I expected to do? What is sex supposed to be like? Can somebody answer me that?

    I still feel like because of my sheltered upbringing (though it wasn’t anti-sex), I feel scared to do something wrong. I can’t seem to get over thinking about it being bad or wrong of me to touch women. I don’t know. There is just some sort of psychological block that prevents me from even approaching women. I just think that something is wrong with me in terms of feeling some sort of wall in terms of just looking at women. Does anyone understand what I’m trying to say?

    I just wonder if that is going to prevent me from ‘acting’ or what-have-you. Here comes the shaking again.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16717

    Flint
    Participant

    poetic in addition to finding a lady catering to virgins alos ask about GFE(Girl friend Experience). I think a GFE party will help with most of your worries. Be upfront about all of your expectations and lack of any experience. is the shaking at all due to horniness?

    #16719
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    I think my violent shakes are mostly part in due to my fear with not knowing what to do. I’m also afraid of how she will react. I try so hard to get people to like me. I want to please the woman so badly. I have a hard time accepting rejection from others, I guess. My internal mind gets to talking, and it gets to speaking quite loudly to me, where it says that I am doing something wrong, I think. I worry over my performance, and I hope that I am doing something right. I want so hard to win the hot girl that I get so scared to be around her and do something stupid, which I inevitably do anyway.

    Yes, I am shaking because she is an attractive female. I end up looking so weird doing it, and I wonder what to do. I know I’m aroused, but I am afraid to be with a girl because I believe I will do something wrong like hurt or be accused of something like assaulting her. I was scared over that.

    See, whenever I get around a female and she is close upon me, there is something that happens. I’ve never really been the type to attract girls, and no girl has ever really been interested in me. So, whenever I get close to one, something ‘arises’.

    I got a kiss one time a while ago from this girl I used to kind of like, and when that happened, I had basically a major erection, and it was so easy to tell for her. She was more experienced than me, and she could tell by my face how embarrassed I was by the whole “erection”. I did not know what to do, except run away in such embarrassment. I was worried that she was going to laugh about it, but it just struck me.

    It was so weird to me. With me being so inexperienced, I didn’t know what to do at that time. I thought she would be offended by it, because most girls usually are repulsed by the thought of me, I believe. Really, there hasn’t been a girl who has looked to touch me ever. I have been dateless, sexless, kissless, and basically never touched in my lifetime. So, I am basically programmed to rejection. I was afraid of that. With that girl, she was with somebody anyway. It made me nervous, because I didn’t know if she was going to like me or not. So, I retreated in fear, thinking rejection was going to happen. My erection basically made me even more nervous. In essence, I run from rejection to avoid pain and overwhelming heartache.

    So, I often imagine what it would be like to have to tell a girl I like that I’m a virgin. I’ve heard most girls don’t even like virgins. It’s a stigma in society, no bones about it. I get so afraid to tell her that I’m a virgin because I’m afraid of how she will react. I wonder if she will laugh and then say she won’t want to be with me, which has happened before. I hope to have it go well, but with my little confidence, I wonder if that will ever happen. I get so scared to make a move, with a potential for rejection.

    I don’t really know how to touch a woman, so I get afraid of really touching one. Where to put my hands and all that. Add in my super-ability to be awkward in any situation, and it is sure to go well. I am already having sexual thoughts, and now I have to act in a way I’m not comfortable, yeah, I get nervous. All these thoughts in my head just running so wild, and I can’t seem to contain. The worst get tagged to my virginity.

    My virgin tag almost seems to be the albatross on my neck, and it seems to do more harm than good. It’s debilitating. I don’t want anybody to know. I feel like people would laugh at me for it. I hope to be a whole lot different than that. Oh, well. Maybe this would help me.

    I also shake because most girls I fear are out of my league. I’ve never been called attractive, to be honest. Most girls that I know would never go for me. One of the things that I would liek to know is if they would find a skinny guy like me attractive. I doubt it, but who knows? I mean, I’m a nervous, shy, virgin, and a geek on top of it. Who would really want me?

    That’s how I feel most days. I feel like I could never deserve or obtain girls in real life, especially those as fine as those on this site. They would just laugh at me and think I’m pathetic. I don’t think most girls would be attracted to me. I just put off this vibe, I think, that blocks women from going for me. I heard virgins do that. So, maybe going for a girl who I’d pay to be with would help me gain some confidence or something. Who knows if this would be invaluable for me.

    All I really would like to hear is someone saying they love me, they value me, and they think I’m special and attractive. I want to hold her and give her nothing but good pleasure. I want her to tell me that she enjoys me. It’s what I want most. The sex is such a bonus, but the affirmation is such a key. I want that so much. I don’t want to go without that anymore. I don’t want to be some worthless virgin.

    Will my inexperience show by my awkwardness? Will she disapprove of me because of it? Will she think I’m pathetic? I’m worried about that. I’m so shy it’s paralyzing for me. Pathetic, in my opinion. Can you blame me, though? Sex is like foreign to me. Honestly, kissing is foreign to me. It would be overwhelming.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16773
    Profile photo of poeticjustice
    poeticjustice
    Participant

    I think I also freak out because I am trained to think s_x as a bad thing, so I am afraid to do it. Anything sexual has been avoided in my life, and I feel like s_x has been deemed an evil in my mind. I know it’s not, but I have been frigid and gun-shy due to my thinking. Thus, I am nervous because I am inexperienced with women in general.

    I don’t know what to do, and it’s not like I have had a lot of women wanting to touch me. I’ve basically been walled off from women, and no one has even come near me. It’s been nonexistent. I would like to actually have a girl come touch me and all that. I get nervous thinking about it, and I feel like shaking. I need to get past this, though. I’ve been held back for this.

    Wrong vs right, what’s the right thing to do. It’s a little prudery vs prurient. I definitely feel that. I have that sexual side about me, I know it. I’m just afraid to show it and let it come alive. I’m afraid of doing something “wrong”, though I kind of want to lose my virginity. Though I want to finally fit in and become normal.

    I think it’s safe to say that I’m ashamed to still be a virgin. That makes me super-nervous. It screams of loser.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Profile photo of poeticjustice poeticjustice.
    #16775
    Profile photo of J Alan
    J Alan
    Participant

    Sex is not a bad thing. I could advise you to not worry about being a virgin, but from what I am reading, it is becoming a problem because you have no real confidence. I can tell you that a lady from Sheri’s Ranch, especially the one of your choosing, will be so hot and the fact that you bedded such a hot lady will give you much of that confidence.

    You can let a lady guide you. Ask questions directly to their profile page link. Many will take awhile to answer, but eventually they will. This forum doesn’t seem highly active, so you might not get answers here.

    1) Is the ranch a truly safe place? Are there like bodyguards or something protecting the place, so nothing bad would happen? Also, do the girls regularly get tested and practice safe sex?

    They get regularly tested and everything is safe sex. Condoms for everything and no exchange of bodily fluids. You won’t feel unsafe, although you might not see all the security since things are generally running smoothly.

    2) How would I know which girls are into sex with virgins?

    I imagine many many many of them are, and they will tell you. Just ask.

    3) Is there allowed time to have a conversation with a girl to build up rapport and chemistry? I don’t want to have it feel like I met a stranger. I want it to be with a girl I feel like I know and have communicated with, I guess. It doesn’t feel all too casual that way.

    You can have a conversation with ladies. If you choose a particular one and have an appointment, I don’t know how much time they would spend getting to know you, but you could ask. If you go without an appointment, you are free to hang out and speak with ladies. If you are as shy as you say, you may need to email a lady so that she will approach you. Tell her you will arrive prior to an appointment and would like to include time to talk. Really, that could be done in the private area too. I can’t tell you she will talk for free back there, but if you are bringing several hundred dollars, I bet you can work it out for some kind of getting to know a lady. These ladies are experts. They will put you at ease in minutes.

    4) Do I have to drink at the ranch? And do the girls drink? I don’t drink, and I’m not looking to have sex with a girl who is drunk or anything. It’s a personal thing.

    There are some that drink little and some that drink even less than that. They are experts and professionals, so I doubt you will wind up with a drunk lady. Go earlier in the day to be even more sure of that.

    5) I always envisioned having romantic music playing for my first time. Something soft and sensous, with some beautiful melody. Would there be any way to have some music playing in the room if I were to do this? I just want to know.

    I am sure that can be done. Bring some or ask them what they got.

    6) Will the girls tell you if you are doing a “good” job? And what if I end up “finishing” fast?

    You probably will “finish” fast, but you can go again. If you let the lady guide you, you won’t be doing a bad job. She will give you confidence and tell you to slow down or take it easier or whatever. Don’t take anything she says about that personally as she is trying to help, and enjoy her guidance. To be honest, no guys are really good at the beginning unless the lady does some guiding.

    7) Can I kiss? Is kissing allowed? I wonder because I would like to be kissed. I want to make it as romantic as possible, and not just about the act itself but everything up to it. Kissing feels like a big deal to me. So, I wonder if I am allowed to do any kissing. Is intimate touching and caressing something permitted too?

    I don’t speak for the ladies. But even though french kissing is not always the case because it is often saved for actual lovers, some ladies will agree to it. Even if she doesn’t, I bet you can ask her to kiss you (closed mouth) all over and make it feel romantic. Some won’t agree to open mouth kissing because it is exchanging bodily fluids and they want to be safe. Don’t take the french kissing part personally.

    8) Can you pick a girl to lose your virginity to? And can you talk to a girl before you actually get together? Is there any way you could talk to one of the girls before actually meeting to build that relationship up? Or is that forbidden?

    Pick a girl and ask if you can get to know her. Or get to know her through her posts here or elsewhere.

    9) Would it be an amazing experience losing my virginity? I want it to be special and amazing!
    Also, Would the girls be into me, even being a skinny guy? I mean, I have an athletic body, but I’m skinny. I just wonder if the girls would find me attractive or not.

    I promise that it will be an amazing experience with one of these ladies that you want to lose it with, she will be into you more than you even realize because she is helping you, teaching you, and because you are not a fatso like me. (But the lady was into me despite that.)

    10) Do you think this virgin experience will give me the confidence I have been looking for?

    It should help.

    I have years of experience, but almost all of it was with the same lady and I was nervous because the lady was so beautiful. A few minutes into it, she made me feel better. She was great at calming me.

    #16779

    Flint
    Participant

    poetic, is any of this helping you? I think you need to plan to visit the Ranch. Either make an appointment or go inot the bar and talk with the ladies. Maybe have a friend drive you there and wait until you are done with your party>

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