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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  UKpete 3 years, 7 months ago. This post has been viewed 538 times

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    I made myself a snowman,
    As perfect as can be,
    I thought I’d keep it as a pet,
    So I let it sleep with me,
    I made it some pyjamas and a pillow for its head,
    Last night the bastard vanished and pissed in my bed.



    Goldilocks, it’s known, had lots of guys
    And Pinnochio’s one, I do surmise
    She’d sit on his face
    Stick his nose in that place
    Then make the poor puppet tell lies!



    Dirty Johnny climbs onto Santa’s lap at the department store. Santa says, “I’ll bet I know what you want for Christmas.” And with his index finger he taps the boy on the nose with every letter he spells, “T-O-Y-S.” The little boy answers, “No, I have enough toys.” Santa tries again, tapping Johnny’s nose with every letter, “C-A-N-D-Y.” Again, Johnny says, “No, I have all kinds of candy.” “Well, what would you like for Christmas?” Santa asks. Johnny replies, tapping Santa on the nose, “P-U-S-S-Y. And don’t tell me you don’t have any because I can smell it on your finger!”

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