Anyone who has been searching online for a professional sexual companion over the past ten to fifteen years has likely encountered the ridiculously popular acronym “GFE.” GFE is short for Girlfriend Experience and the service is arguably the most popular offering in this current age of harlotry.

But what exactly is a GFE? When a customer negotiates with a prostitute for a BJ (fellatio), DATY (cunnilingus), or even an FMF (threesome) it’s pretty cut and dry what the experience will generally entail. But GFE, despite its popularity, is a nebulous term that appears to have no conclusive definition.

Obviously, the service implies that the prostitute will, to some extent, act like her client’s girlfriend. plays it safe by generalizing GFE:

GFE  a service provided by a prostitute that includes more personal activity, such as kissing, than provided traditionally by sex workers.

Punter forums and similar online communities have disputed the definition of the term ad nauseum. French kissing, cuddling, foreplay, and an overall greater familiarity between client and courtesan are all associated with the Girlfriend Experience. But these are mere aspects of the service that shed little light on the phenomenon. To really understand GFE perhaps we should not only be asking what it is, but also why there is such an increasing demand for it.

Former sex worker Daphne Daly, AKA Betthany St James, wrote in a 2012 Huffington Post article that the growing desire for a Girlfriend Experience stems from a lack of appreciation for tenderness in today’s sexual society.

Our porn has become boring and, in my opinion, it might have much to do with this unrealistic and unromanticized version of physical pleasure. Women seem to think that a quick, rough and raunchy screw is the definition of “sexy” for men. Men seem to think that a sweaty, all night, creatively impressive, position-fest is the answer.

It’s certainly true that the vast majority of online porn celebrates the athletics of sex while neglecting the intimacy that should be inseparable from the sexual experience. Daly suggests that if we continue to view porn as a “how to” guide for our sex lives, we will continue to lack sexual satisfaction.

The desire for pillow talk, kissing and tenderness has never been at such an all-time premium. My clients come from far and wide just to have the opportunity to let go, be romantic, take their time and just enjoy the company of another human.

Whether or not you agree with Daly’s hypothesis, it is irrefutable that men seeking amatory activity from adult entertainers often seek it in the form of a Girlfriend Experience.

The definition of GFE does not truly exist, at least not in a definitive form. The service is as diverse and varied as the working girls who offer it and the customers who partake of it. Below is a sampling of personal perspectives on the Girlfriend Experience from women most qualified to speak on the subject: licensed courtesans currently working at legal Nevada bordellos.

red-diamond“I always like to start my GFE experience with dinner & a movie (comedy or action) so we can get comfortable with each other. This session is best when it’s a duration of 3 hours to all night long. I ease us into sensual pleasures and multiple orgasms for dessert. Depending on duration, we can get quite creative together: games, karoake, round 2 on orgasms, etc… No matter what the activites are after dessert, we end up soaking in a hot bubble bath and savoring chocolate covered strawberries with a true satisfaction. My finishing touch before bed (or him leaving me) is massaging every muscle in his body. He leaves with great memories and a urge to return for more.” – says Red Diamonds


riley“My idea of a GFE party is a “quality time” party. It should not be rushed. We should take the time to get to know one another.  Have a nice meal and some great wine together, enjoy a mutual massage and a warm  bubble bath. I love a great box of chocolates when I bathe…hmm maybe ill even drizzle a little chocolate sauce on you! I love to relax and escape from reality in loving arms. A blazing  warm fire is where I love to move my body to sexy music so that I can seduce and torture your eyes before I please your body.” – says Riley


Char-Twitter“To me, GFE means intimacy, both physical and emotional. Kissing, for sure. Gentle lovemaking. A tongue kiss to the neck. Finger nails across your back. Sweet. Slow. Sensual. But it can also be rough if that’s where the intimacy takes you. To me, it’s really about letting go with someone, delving into one another’s minds while you explore each others bodies and desires. It means no limits. It means trust. “Within these four walls it’s just you and me….” – says Char


destini“I am extremely open-minded, I enjoy almost anything sexual. My Ideal party is sharing my time with a wonderful gentleman who will spoil me as much as I spoil him. I really like the GFE sessions where it feels like I am on a real date.  A nice gift upon arrival such as flowers, perfume, lingerie, sexy clothes or anything that makes you think of me is always a nice surprise. I just love seeing that chivalry still exists. Booking a bungalow really gets you out of the brothel atmosphere, so we can relax by the fire cuddling listening to some enjoyable tunes. Taking things slow in the most sensual way, teasing and tantalizing one another. Enjoying a evening filled with romantic dinner, fun games, and scary movies where I can snuggle in your arms or you can comfort me while I jump and scream. We can slip into a nice bubble bath or hot tub, it’s great foreplay. I love the way our bodies slide against one another while we caress. Once we’re all worked up and begging for one another, we can retire to the bed for the most intimate pleasures of life. That’s just a small glimpse into my most desired session there are more that I absolutely love but I’ll just have to whisper those in your ear when we meet face to face.” – says Destini


joy“Being someone with a sweet and loving nature, a GFE just comes naturally.  The Girlfriend Experience is really cool because we get to know each other very quickly, it could take months of dating in real life to get where just one night with me can get you. A GFE is about being candid and open,  relaxing and having all of the fun we can dream of.  Something that in real life is not always possible because you have to worry that the girl you are dating will reject your unique needs or not know how to really please your every want and desire. I have made several friends through our GFE experiences, most of them repeat visitors. I enjoy every party with lots of sexual and emotional enthusiasm.  The Girlfriend Experience is the perfect scenario for people who have not been pleased with their current level of intimacy or who have trouble opening up to their lovers and revealing who they truly are (and what they really want).” – says Joy

About Jeremy Lemur

Jeremy Lemur is a spokesperson for Sheri's Ranch and an advocate for the legalization and regulation of sex work in the United States. A driven professional with considerable experience in both the conventional and adult media space, Jeremy has worked for a national sports league, a prestigious entertainment guild, and several successful startups. Email him here.
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5 Responses to What is a GFE (Girlfriend Experience)?

  1. Joy, is really a sweet heart and the only girl at Sheri's for me. The time I spent getting to know her in the bar is the most important part of why I enjoy being with her so much, because we formed a connection. I am chubby,short and bald, but Joy took the time to get to know me and make each time with her special. She makes me feel better about myself than any girl I actually dated in real life.

  2. Profile photo of liam51 liam51 says:

    I like Char's explanation. Sorta like the difference between McDonald's and my favorite Italian Restaurant where I know the owner, his mother waits on me, and they know my kids (now grown). Both will fulfill your physical need, but the other also fulfills the emotional need we all have to feel connected and accepted.


  3. mrpaul says:

    I don’t feel that anyone can have a “true” GFE and stay within the strict guidelines set up to prevent STD’s spreading.
    No deep french kissing, no fingers inside the lady, no cunnilingus (without a latex barrier)! so where exactly is the GFE?

    Okay true romantic dates go along way, and intimate evenings of pillow talk make one feel good. but in my opinion a true GFE has to do with the old Baseball analogy. getting to bat and hitting the ball, you move to first base (french kissing and breast massage thru clothing), 2nd base (top is off and kissing and sucking nipples, feeling girl thru her panties), 3rd base (naked, fingers inside her, cunnilingus preformed), finally home (full sexual intercourse)… okay that;s my view of a GFE, and I know that everyone has their own views.

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