Partying with a Significant Disability

I am a person with a significant disability. I have cerebral palsy. Everybody who has this condition is different from each other. The reason for this is simple. It is caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain before, during or immediately after birth. The lack of oxygen causes one or more parts of the brain to behave abnormally. In my case, the major symptoms are a lack of balance and muscular control (I can’t walk, or turn my hands over), and spasticity (tightness in all my limbs but extreme tightness in my lower half). After a couple of times considering using professional assistance (and backing out on more than one occasion) to party, I finally took the plunge. You can read my review of my time with Allissa in her reviews. It was beyond my expectations, and then some. But that is not what I want to talk about here. No point using the same superlatives twice.
Instead, I thought I might offer a sort of checklist for those with the additional complications that a physical disability adds to the picture. These are merely suggestions and may not work for everyone, but I hope that they might offer food for thought.
1. Find a young woman or women who you find physically appealing – This probably seems self-evident, but what I mean by this is DON’T START WITH THE DISABILITY
2. Go through the website – There is a lot of information there. Small things that you learn might turn you toward one young woman or even away from another. For example, one of things that drew me to Allissa was a post about her job description, and the difference between the dictionary definition of what her business is, on the one hand, and how she actually approaches her business, on the other. This writing played a large part in convincing me that in addition to her obvious physical beauty, she had a ton of other attributes (brains and compassion are two of the most obvious ones). This was what I wanted;
3. Do some recon – How are you going to get to the ranch? Do you have your own car? Can you drive it yourself? If not, do you have an attendant you can trust with this? If you use an electric wheelchair, the complimentary limousine is probably not an option. There are companies that will provide an accessible van. The cost is high compared to renting an ordinary car, but it is not prohibitive.
4. What are the other issues that your disability presents? – Make a list. For me, it was a transfer out of and ultimately back into my wheelchair. I brought an attendant to overcome this issue. But, it turns out that a couple of the ladies in the bar had a different solution to this problem (thanks CiCi and Sassy).
5. Be honest in your communication – E-mail the young woman or women in whom you have interest. If they are hesitant, they may ask for clarification. My experience is that many of these women were very helpful. Remember that you know your needs and they know how their business usually works. Together, if my experience is anything to go by, you will probably be able to find a middle ground.
6. This honesty can extend to the party itself as well – Again, my experience is that Allissa was very patient and attentive to my needs. If we needed to shift my body positioning in order to do something differently, she was happy to help. All I had to do was ask. You know what you need. Do not be afraid of looking foolish in asking for it (whether it is clothing removal, body positioning or anything else).
7. Relax – This honesty can help you relax, because all of the issues have been laid out on the table, and both of you have decided to go forward.
8. Enjoy!

I hope that this might be of help