Prostitutes are penis experts. There is no other group of professionals – not scientists, not academic researchers, not journalists – that have more experience viewing and handling a large number and wide variety of penises. Additionally, prostitutes are probably the only professional group qualified to comment on how penises of differing sizes and shapes feel when they are inside a woman.

It seems like every month another article about the latest penis size study is published. It’s a popular media topic because men are becoming increasingly obsessed with the size of their genitals, thanks in part to the wide availability of online porn showing women writhing in pleasure as they receive a plunging from one large penis after another.

There is a lot of speculation about what the perfect penis is supposed to look like, how long or wide it needs to be in order to deliver pleasure, and what’s considered “ideal.” I decided to share my informed opinion as a licensed Nevada prostitute and write about certain myths that many people tend to believe, either due to lack of sexual experience or a limited exposure to all of the various penis shapes and sizes. Below are what I consider to be the three most common myths about penis size.

Myth #1: There is such a thing as an “ideal” penis size

I’ve seen a lot of cocks. They come in all shapes, lengths, widths, and colors. Some bend upwards, some downwards, some curve to the side. Some are almost the size of my forearm, some the size of my thumb. I’ve seen penises with a sharp bend like a water faucet, and penises shaped like a mushroom, with a large head on a smaller shaft. While some online resources will try to trick people into believing that there is such a thing as an “ideal penis,” I’m here to tell you that as long as your penis is healthy, it’s ideal for sex and is capable of pleasing a woman.

There are so many ways that one healthy penis can differ from the next, that it’s pointless to try to figure out what’s “normal” or “ideal.” Sure, you can go on Wikipedia, read that the average penis length is 5.17 inches, get an idea as to how you measure up against this average, and feel better (or worse) about yourself. But comparing yourself to a statistical average or striving for an ideal will not only give you a false perception of the wonderful diversity of healthy penises, but also impair your ability to see yourself as a valuable individual who uses your unique body to be the best lover your partner ever had.

Myth #2: The size of your penis determines how much you can please a woman

Again, this is false. Having a thick or long cock doesn’t mean you’re automatically great at sex. In my experience what matters most is reading your partner’s body, being sympathetic to her unique needs, and paying attention to what she responds favorably to. No matter what the size, if you apply pressure in the right areas or use the right rhythm it’s going to make her feel good. Also, you can and should use more than just your penis to please a woman. A lot of research has shown that many women can’t achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. That’s why it’s an absolute must to use your mouth and hands during sex, as well as experimenting with toys (a favorite of mine.) To put it simply: when it comes to sexual satisfaction, a big penis is a poor substitute for a compassionate and audacious lover.

Myth #3: Women gossip about size

When women do kiss and tell, I’ve found that the focus is almost always on a man’s performance, and not on his penis size at all. We are much more interested in hearing about the experience as a whole.  Talking about what tricks or toys were used is a lot more interesting than discussing size. Honestly, when another woman describes good sex to me she’ll very rarely mention the size or appearance of her partner’s penis. Since we’re not all that concerned about a guy’s penis size, maybe men shouldn’t be as concerned as they are about it either.

The truth is that it really doesn’t matter what your penis looks like. Just because a penis looks good in pictures (or on video) doesn’t mean it’s going to feel good to a woman. What I’ve discovered during my time as a sex worker is that what matters most is the person attached to the penis, not the penis itself. If that person is sensitive to his partner’s needs and takes the time to discover what turns her on, he will be a successful lover and make her orgasm again and again. I’m hoping that after reading this, men will no longer worry whether or not they measure up, and start enjoying the great sex that comes with being a confident and empathetic lover.