As mentioned in an earlier post about three-way sex, there are two primary types of threesomes:

1. A threesome in which a couple in a long-term relationship asks another woman to join them for sex.
2. A threesome in which a man has sex with two women, neither of which are in a long term relationship with the man.

In this post we’ll cover the first type, specifically focusing on couples who are considering a threesome for the first time.

Should you and your significant other have a threesome?

Thinking about inviting a third?

There’s a moment in every curious couple’s relationship when the idea drifts across the table — what if we added someone else? Maybe it’s a fantasy that’s been lingering for years, or maybe it popped up after one too many spicy Netflix nights. Either way, the impulse usually comes from a healthy place: curiosity, quiet hunger for the unknown, and a desire to experience something new together. It’s not about replacing your partner, it’s about rewriting the rules of intimacy as a team and exploring what turns you both on in a safe, honest way.

Once you have a threesome, there’s no taking it back. Inviting a third person into your most intimate space is a very real thing and it could have very real consequences. It is of paramount importance that you and your domestic partner are 100% certain that this is something you both want to do.

A threesome will most likely add a marvelous new dimension to your sex life as long as you are both open to exploring all of the mutually beneficial possibilities three-way sex has to offer. But if one of you feels that you have been in any way pressured into the situation, a threesome could have repercussions that may negatively affect your relationship.

How to Know If Your Relationship Is Ready for a Threesome

The truth is, a threesome doesn’t fix anything that’s already broken. If there’s jealousy, resentment, or communication issues hiding under the sheets, bringing in a third person won’t make them vanish, it’ll just shine a spotlight on them. You’re ready when you can talk about fantasies without judgment and agree that “no” simply means we’re not ready to do this yet and that everyone is comfortable waiting. A first threesome should feel like a joint adventure, not a test of loyalty. When the foundation’s solid, the fun part gets a whole lot more fun.

In our experience, one of the most common mistakes occurs when a person agrees to a threesome in an attempt to save an already flimsy relationship. A threesome is not the answer to your domestic problems. While a threesome could definitely alleviate sexual monotony between an otherwise committed couple, it is best suited for open-minded couples who have a very strong bond between them.

Are You Really Ready for a Threesome as a Couple?

Before you start picking the soundtrack and dimming the lights, take a breath and check in with each other. If you can both answer yes to most of these, you’re probably in a good place to explore. If not, you might need a little more conversation before adding anyone new to the mix.

1. We can talk about sex openly — what we like, what we don’t, and what we’re curious about — without anyone getting defensive.
2. Neither of us feels pressured into this. It’s a shared fantasy, not a peace offering.
3. We’ve talked about jealousy and how we’d handle it if it shows up (because it just might, if even just a little).
4. We both understand that a threesome won’t fix anything broken in our relationship.
5. We’re equally involved in choosing the third.
6. We’ve agreed on what’s on the table, what’s off-limits, and what’s a maybe.
7. We can imagine waking up the next morning still feeling close, maybe even closer.
8. We’re doing this for fun, curiosity, and connection, not to compete or compare.
9. We both know we can hit pause or stop at any time, and it won’t turn into a fight.

If reading this list sparked a real conversation (or a few butterflies), you’re already doing it right. The healthiest threesomes don’t start with lust, they start with honesty.

So if you and your soul mate are devoted to each other in and out of the sack, and you are both ready to add another hot chapter to your sexual playbook, then a threesome is for you.

Three tips for the best couple’s threesome

Once you decide definitively that a threesome is a mutual desire shared between you and your lover, it’s important to keep the following in mind as you move forward.

1. Set boundaries

Boundaries, with regard to a threesome, are the rules agreed upon by the three participants based on the couple’s preferences and level of comfort. Since each couple’s sexual reality is unique, there are no absolute rules for threesome boundaries.

A few examples of boundaries I’ve encountered include

• No intercourse with the courtesan.
• No mouth kissing with the courtesan.
• If one member of the couple decides to stop, we all stop.

Boundaries must be established prior to the sexual encounter and should be taken seriously. In my experience, threesomes with definitive boundaries are very rarely unsuccessful. There’s a certain titillating anticipation that comes with knowing ahead of time all of the naughty things that are going to happen between the three of us. After all, Boundaries not only help define what can’t be done, but also what can be done…

2. Relax

With all of the tension associated with setting boundaries and preparing for your first three-way sexcapade, it’s understandable that you both may be a little nervous. Unfortunately, when you’re nervous certain parts of you might not work properly and it could be very difficult to get lost in the threesome fantasy-come-reality.

Trust is the first step toward relaxation. It’s important that you trust your partner as well as the third party, and that you truly believe everyone has everybody’s best interests at heart. Remind yourself that you are in a safe place with people who care about you. Start slowly with conversation and caressing and ease your way into more intense levels of intimacy. The pace, as everything in a threesome, is based on the joint comfort level of the three participants. No one should ever feel rushed.

3. Involve all persons

As a business comprised of the world’s finest professional working girls, we have the experience and know-how to suggest positions and situations that involve all three lovers. If you don’t decide to have your first threesome at a sex resort or legal brothel, please note that the most delicate aspect of threesome sex is inclusion. There is nothing more awkward than a threesome that becomes a twosome.

For example, some men love to masturbate while their partner and another woman go at it – and that’s great inclusion. But if a guy is having intercourse with the third party and, consciously or unconsciously, they both ignore his significant other for a time – that’s a common amateur mistake that could lead to distress. Always be sensitive to what all three participants are feeling.

For first timers, we recommend that you take inclusion into account at the planning stage:

• Discuss several of the three-way sexual scenarios ahead of time.
• Make sure these scenarios involve all three participants.
• Make sure that you and your lover (not to mention the third party) fully agree on the scenarios chosen.

We hope these tips provide a useful outline for your first threesome experience. If you’d like to discuss any of these in detail, reach out to our concierge.