Everyone knows that sex workers are clinical and impersonal, right? Not at Sheri’s Ranch!

I get confused when people ask me if I do GFE (Girlfriend Experience.) I don’t know how to do it any other way. Sex without intimacy is like peas without carrots. I was a serial monogamist until I came to Sheri’s in my thirties, so I have a lot of experience. I like to be cared for, and there is no other sense of calm like the one a real man provides. When I feel it, there is nothing I won’t do for you.

You’ll know because I’ll reach for your hand as soon as we start walking down the hall. And I’ll start gently making fun of you. Your encyclopedic knowledge of Manchester United stats needs to be laughed at a little.

I will look absolutely stunning, but I won’t drive you crazy because I had to spend forty-five minutes putting on mascara.

I’m not your mother; I’m not going to pick lint off your jacket or lick my thumb and flatten your eyebrows. But if you need some real intimacy, I will be there for you.

You can spill your guts to me. Talk to me about your problems. I’m serious! I know you’re not immune to mood swings: you just bury them. I’m not going to try to coerce you into a dialogue or resolve anything for you. I will just listen. I will be sensitive but not intrusive. If a work project is stomping you down, let me lift you up. I’ve got your back. If talking doesn’t make you feel better, I know some perfect distraction techniques. I can make you forget your overbearing boss or obnoxious friend ever existed. If you’re with me (or any of the gorgeous women at Sheri’s), guaranteed, your power to stew will go to zero.

I like slow-burning sex. Longer foreplay will help us synchronize, give you confidence, and make it easier to control ejaculation. I’ll put you on top, guide your hands, stroking your palm the way I’d like to be touched. “Like this.” I’ll slip one hand down the back of your shorts, just below the waistline, and pull your pelvis toward me, showing you the motion that turns me on. “Like this.” Then I’ll get on top and slowly kiss you along your neck and collarbone, linger by your belt line, looking up at you as I kiss your abdomen, then work my way back up to your lips.

Once we get to know each other, new positions are interesting. Toys and lotions can be fun, but the most important things women at Sheri’s bring to the bedroom are unbridled enthusiasm, confidence, and creativity. You are my priority when we’re together. You are the only thing on my to-do list.

There is something sexy about every man. I love abs as much as the next person, but no matter what you look like, there is something deeper inside you that is sexier than any amount of muscle… maybe it’s the way you tell a story, the way you touch me, the sound of your voice, the stupid joke you tell when you feel nervous (mine is: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.)

A woman who just lies there silently waiting for the earth to move her is a big turn-off. That’s not what you get at Sheri’s! I will grip the sheets. Beg. Plead. Demand. Make it less like a fist bump and more like an earthquake.