February 18, 2014 at 6:52 pm #7079
Part of me really wants to come to Sheri’s Ranch. I’m locked in a relationship with someone I love but she’s sexually conservative and we rarely have sex now anyway. My biggest fantasy would be to have her be sexually uninhibited with one of Sherri’s girls in a threesome, but that’ll never ever happen. She would never come to a brothel, she would never participate in a threesome, and I doubt that she would ever talk to me again if she knew that I was even entertaining the thought of going to a brothel.
I’ve looked through this website and I like a lot of the ladies at Sheri’s. The thought of being with a sexually liberal woman turns me on, and the fact that where I’m from, there’s a stigma attached to the sex industry adds that much more excitement to the idea of going to a brothel.
I’m worried that if I did go to Sheri’s, there’s a chance that I would become a regular because I’ve got a somewhat addictive personality. In addition to becoming an expensive habit, this could create instability in my relationship as I could envision myself taking many unnecessary “business trips” to Nevada. I don’t want to spend the entire trust fund on Sheri’s Ranch but there’s a chance I would do it.
Do you think I’d be better off just staying at home and pleasuring myself to the thought of going to Sheri’s instead of actually doing it?February 19, 2014 at 4:02 am #7080FlintParticipant
Why are you locked into that relationship with someone that does not meet your sexual needs? A visit to Sheri’s could do you a lot of good but what happens when she finds out?
Perhaps you could plan for just one trip and select the lady that most appeals to you and what you are expecting?February 19, 2014 at 4:36 am #7081Steve9876Participant
I had to look twice to make sure I had not written your question! Having battled addictive traits for years, the best thing I can say is don’t start something if you think it may become a problem in the future. I know this won’t make Sheri’s happy to see this, but I would hope they would have your long-term interests in mind over making a few bucks. Maybe you could introduce minor changes in the bedroom that might stir things up at home. Who knows, there might be a tigress in your partner that is waiting to be unleashed!February 19, 2014 at 4:16 pm #7083LetoParticipant
Pierre, one day you will be on your death bed and thinking about your regrets in life and not doing this will be the biggest one. After you’re gone, the government will take 50% of your estate and trust funds and your loving partner will move on to the next guy who will buy an SUV on your dime. And you will be dead. Life is a glorious adventure and you only live once. Go to Sheri’s if that’s what you want. C’est la vieFebruary 20, 2014 at 6:47 am #7086AnonymousInactive
I went through that same issue with my wife. We didn’t have sex for over a year. I finally decided to go to a brothel because I didn’t want a mistress in my home town, and I found that I really enjoyed it. It was awkward at first because of the new adventure and younger Ladies but that actually turned out to be a big plus. At least a man isn’t seeking a permanent relationship when he visits a brothel so the prospect of him leaving his wife for his Courtesan is negligible. Courtesans aren’t normally interested in marrying their clients.
My wife finally found out after years and she accused me of cheating on her; I retorted that it’s not cheating if we aren’t having sex at all. She basically couldn’t disagree with my logic. Afterward, my wife actually accompanied me to a brothel; although, she wouldn’t participate in sex with the Ladies and I couldn’t either while she was present. Furthermore, we viewed some tasteful adult movies so she could see how different couples made love. Now she provides me fellatio and she found that she loves cunnilingus performed by me. I later discovered that it wasn’t that she was extremely straight-laced, but the premise had been instilled in her mind that extremely pleasurable sex acts even between lifetime partners were sinful because of lustful emotions exhibited. She was essentially sexually inhibited because of indoctrination from people instrumental in forming her values while she was growing up.
A woman must realize that if she doesn’t take care of her man at home, he’s eventually going to seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. If a man’s testosterone level is normal there’s a natural breeding instinct, and if his desires aren’t fulfilled it can eventually affect his psyche. Steve provided some food for thought, but if your Lady doesn’t change her mind the problem will become worse because a man needs intimate female contact. Pornography and masturbation are not acceptable substitutes for making love to a woman. Flint and Leto gave you some very good advice too. You only go through life once and you may live to regret what you later view as mistakes made when you were younger. Bottom-line, you must make your own decision and live with it. Remember, every decision a person makes in life has its potential consequences no matter what you decide pro or con.February 20, 2014 at 3:21 pm #7100LetoParticipant
Well said, firefighter.February 20, 2014 at 3:32 pm #7101MaverickParticipant
Your entire post screams ” I’m having intimacy issues ( not to be confused with sexual issues) in my committed relationship”. As a result coming to a brothel, as I see it from your POV, would be a simple diversion when in fact its more, its likely denial and/or evasion.
One detail many folks don’t realize ( Guys are really good at this one.) Fidelity is primarily a matter of the mind not the flesh. So it appears you have already crossed this line. If you value your “locked” relationship cowboy up and deal with it….fix it or finish it off. Don’t compromise or sacrifice your personal integrity just to duck/deflect certain issues your going to have to deal with in due course anyway. The honor and virtue you claim as an individual and the trust, faith and confidence you have with others is not worth liquidating for what one deludes themselves to see as quick fix. Deceit by omission and/or playing fast and loose with the truth comes at a high price for all.
My advise, MAN UP!!! Fix it or finish it off. If its broken and can’t be fixed you can walk through the doors at Sheri’s with no regret, your principals intact with the end result being you have no skeletons in the closet of which you would likely have to deal with in due course anyway.
If it can be fixed…well…you may find you have a live in sex kitten.
I hope you catch a break.
P.S. If you think that visiting the ranch, in any case, could play into an obsessive compulsive disorder, diagnosed/undiagnosed, think twice about it. I have heard of more than one person losing it all from an excessive LPIN habit. Like you I have these kinds of issues, I am a self diagnosed “food addict” which plays to addictive tendencies more broadly. This is a personal issue you need to reconcile for the greater good. Addictions and disorders of this nature are a matter of management, I know I’ve been though the cycle. I have found sobriety in this venue and have established personal symmetry. Getting your arms around this is critical for living a good life. Good Luck!!!February 20, 2014 at 8:41 pm #7104
Thank you for the advice – there are many solid arguments for and against going. I’m not sure I can resist the temptation of going to Sheri’s at least once.February 25, 2014 at 4:39 pm #7169CandyAndyParticipant
If I were in your position, this is what I would consider. The person I am “locked” into a relationship with is obviously someone who I care deeply about which is why I am “locked.” Since there is no ball and chain, it can be broken off by a break up or a divorce. While I empathize with you that she is more conservative with her sexuality than you would like, I would consider breaking things off with her before making a move to cheat. If she found out, she would be devastated. If she never does, I would be haunted by my actions even if I could try to find ways to justify it. And if I were to break it off to fulfill my sexual needs, she would also be heartbroken and angry, but maybe not to the same extent and not in the same way, though I may never see her again afterwards.
For many cases, having a good deal of integrity means that in some way, you lose; which comes at the cost in helping to ensure others don’t. I believe that’s worth it. For this situation, assuming I was in love with her for many other reasons, I personally would try my best to patiently hope and wait for the day where she becomes more liberal in the bedroom. Perhaps you could get her to take a human sexuality class with you at a nearby community college? Maybe demonstrate the beauty in more taboo endeavors rather than entertaining crude jests about them?
Furthermore, if I knew I was prone to addiction, I would think thrice about going. Four times if I suspected I would blow exponential amounts of money meant for other purposes.
All in all, I hope you will seriously consider my opinion and then make the best decision. Life is short and its important to live freely and fearlessly but it sounds like there is a lot on the line for you. In my opinion, the best way to make hard decisions like these in a way that you will have the least amount of regret is to decide against yourself rather than seeking justification.February 26, 2014 at 7:01 am #7170AnonymousInactive
You apparently enjoy sex but the woman with whom you’re in a relationship is somewhat asexual. However, if the sex between the two of you stopped all of a sudden there are several possibilities. Maybe she’s grown tired of your relationship or maybe she’s found someone else that you don’t know about. She could even prefer a female lover over a man. Also, she may need medication for an estrogen deficiency. If you wish to continue your relationship, you should discuss your need for intimacy. Your relationship won’t last if this continues so you must work out your personal issues. Ask her if she still loves you and to identify the problems as she views them. If she denies any issues and states that she simply doesn’t like sex, you might be honest and tell her that it’s a definite need for you. You could suggest counseling or a sex therapist to salvage your relationship. In addition, suggest that she have a thorough physical examination with lab work. If you don’t make any progress you might give her the ultimatum that if the two of you don’t have sex, that you are considering a mistress to save what’s left of your platonic relationship. Bottom-line, if a woman truly loves a man, she will normally want to satisfy his sexual desires especially if she doesn’t want to lose him. Your relationship may be over in her mind, but you just don’t know it yet. If you are supporting her, you may insist that she get a job too since you are essentially just roommates and not lovers.February 26, 2014 at 7:59 pm #7172
Maybe the right thing to do is to try to exhaust all possibilities of fixing things in my relationship, and then if that’s not possible, move on. In my mind, though, I’m considering the option of going to Sheri’s on the so-called “down low” while I slowly attempt to fix a sexless (but not loveless) relationship. I don’t think an ultimatum would work and most likely it would take a long time to fix what’s wrong, if things can be fixed.
Sheri’s seems like a nearly ideal place to go because the sex is safe and because there’s no chance that anything other than a professional relationship would develop between me and the ladies. My conscience might get to me a little bit but I know that it’s just sex – what would really get me in trouble is if I were in a real relationship on the side with someone with the potential of falling in love. My sense is that the ladies at Sheri’s don’t give a damn about their clients other than making sure that they have a good time and pay them well for their services – and that’s probably the way it should be. Knowing that the ladies at Sheri’s don’t care about you helps prevent against the possibility of becoming emotionally attached to one (or more) of the ladies.
Also, how would my girlfriend find out that I’ve been to Sheri’s anyway? I’m not going to be bringing any Sheri’s t-shirts back home nor will I bring back (thankfully) any diseases either. Of course, it’s true that I have a slightly addictive personality, but I doubt that I would get so uncontrollably horny that I would fornicate myself into the poor house. I figure that I could come once in a while in order to get it out of my system, then go back home.February 26, 2014 at 9:24 pm #7173AnonymousInactive
It’s not that Sheri’s Ladies don’t care about their clients; in reality, they’re conditioned to avoid becoming personally involved. Sheri’s Courtesans do not function as counselors or mediators regarding clients’ personal problems. Courtesans will not ask clients invasive questions about their personal lives, because Sheri’s Ladies don’t want to make clients feel uncomfortable. Courtesans are professional sex providers period. However, Courtesans do become genuinely friendly with repeat clients who are cordial to them, and they do care about clients’ well-being; but once again Courtesans will not become involved in clients’ private matters, because Sheri’s Ladies conduct business in a discrete and professional and manner.March 3, 2014 at 1:03 pm #7226rewith85manParticipant
If a man does not feel valued, appreciated, etc. in a relationship or marriage with a woman, most likely he is either going to cheat or divorce her.
Fortunately, I am not with some woman who is uptight and egotistical. If she knew that I was interested in going to Sheri’s Ranch to meet women for intimacy/sex, she would break up or try to stop me from going.
All I have to say to you, Pierre, is that you have a right to choose what, where, and who you want to be in a relationship. If your girlfriend cannot accept that, then you might as well break up and move on with someone else. Then, she can find another man who is just like her.
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