I’ve had a geeky science job forever. A few years ago I started getting a little antsy. I was in between contracts, not looking forward to going back to work, and I really needed to get laid. I had Netflix, did a marathon of Satisfaction episodes one weekend, abused myself with my Hitachi Magic Wand and then sat up in bed and thought – Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I work at a legal brothel? I took some naked photos of myself, sent them in, and four hours later a man called and asked if I could be in Nevada on Monday. I calmly said yes, hung up the phone, and had a panic attack.
I had never danced, escorted, or done anything remotely related to the sex industry. I hadn’t even had very much sex; I had been a serial monogamist with super nerdy guys since I was 17.
You know how sometimes in life you look around at what you’re doing and think, this isn’t working, this isn’t making me happy, something dramatic has to change – I was at that point. And although I was terrified, I drove the ten hours to Nevada and showed up on Monday.
For the first week I had panic attacks several times a day, my palms were sweaty, my heart raced before I approached a man in the bar, it raced even harder when we walked down the hall to my room, my voice would crack during the negotiation, and my hands would tremble when I took his money. But then during the party, everything would always be fine, and it was fun! As the days went by I started to relax and by the end of my first week I was having the time of my life. Every day I woke up excited about what was going to happen, the people I was going to meet, the naughty things I was going to do, I couldn’t wait. By the end of my first trip, my life had completely changed. I had met people and experienced things I could never have invented. I was excited about life again.
I showed up at my next geeky science contract with a racy secret. Everyone noticed a difference in me. I was more fun, more energetic, more interested in the research, more engaged – I love science, don’t get me wrong, it is my first passion, but I think all careers have the potential to flatten out at some point and become a little stale. I really needed the spark of some misbehavior to make me appreciate what I have – a challenging intellectual job, that does make me feel a little out of balance at times.
So my double life began. At the end of each field season I trade in my hiking boots, Carhartts, and parka, for come-fuck-me heels and a bikini. I trade my ponytail for big, sexy hair; my safety goggles, for dusky eye make up and glossy lipstick. After a long dirty field season, where from a distance you can’t tell the men from the women, I love the transformation I get to go through: pedicure, manicure, hair, make up, heels, tiny outfits that show a ton of skin. If my field partners could see me, their jaws would drop.
I love the sensual connections, the disobedience, and the silly playfulness I get to experience at a Nevada brothel. We’re not saving the world here–we’re just having fun and doing whatever we want, with no judgment.
So who is the dirty nerd?
Excellent article, very insightful!
Dear Tatyana,
You’re a very beautiful, intelligent and sensuous Lady! I admire you for having the courage to lead a double life so you can scientifically experiment and research your unfulfilled desires, lol! I missed my previous chance to spend time with you which must be rectified soon! I thoroughly enjoyed our short conversation before we were rudely interrupted by a line up. I had hoped my late October and early November visits would coincide with your schedule but I depart November 9th and you don’t appear until the 12th… Damn, I don’t have any luck at all!
XOXOXO
It is still surprising to me that some women love to be sex workers. But, I guess because they love having sex (with strangers).
I like it.
Aww honey, I’m sure you’re gorgeous in carhartts, parka, and goggles too.
Nerds rock!