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My Double Life As A Legal Courtesan

I’ve had a geeky science job forever. A few years ago I started getting a little antsy. I was in between contracts, not looking forward to going back to work, and I really needed to get laid. I had Netflix, did a marathon of Satisfaction episodes one weekend, abused myself with my Hitachi Magic Wand and then sat up in bed and thought – Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I work at a legal brothel? I took some naked photos of myself, sent them in, and four hours later a man called and asked if I could be in Nevada on Monday. I calmly said yes, hung up the phone, and had a panic attack.

I had never danced, escorted, or done anything remotely related to the sex industry. I hadn’t even had very much sex; I had been a serial monogamist with super nerdy guys since I was 17.

You know how sometimes in life you look around at what you’re doing and think, this isn’t working, this isn’t making me happy, something dramatic has to change – I was at that point. And although I was terrified, I drove the ten hours to Nevada and showed up on Monday.

For the first week I had panic attacks several times a day, my palms were sweaty, my heart raced before I approached a man in the bar, it raced even harder when we walked down the hall to my room, my voice would crack during the negotiation, and my hands would tremble when I took his money. But then during the party, everything would always be fine, and it was fun! As the days went by I started to relax and by the end of my first week I was having the time of my life. Every day I woke up excited about what was going to happen, the people I was going to meet, the naughty things I was going to do, I couldn’t wait. By the end of my first trip, my life had completely changed. I had met people and experienced things I could never have invented. I was excited about life again.

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I showed up at my next geeky science contract with a racy secret. Everyone noticed a difference in me. I was more fun, more energetic, more interested in the research, more engaged – I love science, don’t get me wrong, it is my first passion, but I think all careers have the potential to flatten out at some point and become a little stale. I really needed the spark of some misbehavior to make me appreciate what I have – a challenging intellectual job, that does make me feel a little out of balance at times.

So my double life began. At the end of each field season I trade in my hiking boots, Carhartts, and parka, for come-fuck-me heels and a bikini. I trade my ponytail for big, sexy hair; my safety goggles, for dusky eye make up and glossy lipstick. After a long dirty field season, where from a distance you can’t tell the men from the women, I love the transformation I get to go through: pedicure, manicure, hair, make up, heels, tiny outfits that show a ton of skin. If my field partners could see me, their jaws would drop.

I love the sensual connections, the disobedience, and the silly playfulness I get to experience at a Nevada brothel. We’re not saving the world here–we’re just having fun and doing whatever we want, with no judgment.

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