I have a crush on Batman. It started when I was a kid watching The Adventures of Batman & Robin on TV. He is a dark mysterious figure that everyone fears, but he’s one of the good guys.

Brooding, he watches over the city at night. Robberies, hits, or accidents, Batman always comes just in time to save the night. He can crack any code, solve any puzzle and hack into anything from computers to The Penguin’s radio signal.

Swiftly and without a sound, Batman slips through a window and waits patiently in the shadows for the bad guys to come home. They walk right into him in the dark and scream as he opens his cape and grabs them before they run away. He already had control of the situation before they could even think about it. They are left with no ground and Batman gets the information he needs, leaving them in cold sweat and on their knees.

My obsession with Batman has gone passed the tipping point and is now a fetish. I love everything about Batman, from his intelligence to his pointy ears. He’s always in control and he knows exactly what he wants.

Batman was my childhood hero, almost every time I got really scared about monsters or maybe about getting scolded by my parents I would think really hard, “Batman will show up and save me.”

Now I’m all grown up and old enough to date Batman. Below I reveal my Batman superhero fantasies. Do you have a superhero crush? Let me know in the comments and maybe we can live out your fantasy together.

In front of the Batsignal

I stand next to the batsignal with my arms crossed, waiting. He lands on top of the building and looks up at me. I step forward and uncross my arms, “Batman, I need your help,” He stands unmoving. I am inches from him. He doesn’t back away. I go on my tiptoes and kiss him full on the lips. He pulls my legs up on either side of him and flits us over and on top of the batsignal. Heck yeah.

In the harsh pouring rain

Water slides down and falls off the edges of his mask into large puddles reflecting explicit images of a dark dance and open mouths. The rain falls harder and faster and so are the movements of the duo reflected in the liquid black mirrors. Droplets of water linger on the caped crusader’s lips and I take them into my mouth. The scent of sweat and blood fills my senses and I pull him closer, digging my fingernails into his back and across his chest. I wrap my legs around him and hold onto the railings above me. He raises his arms, engulfing the both of us in his cape.

In the backseat of the Batmobile (and don’t tell me it doesn’t have a backseat! This is my fantasy!)

The dark knight forcefully places me in the back seat of the batmobile, scolds me for being naughty, and drives toward the police station where I’ll be punished for my crimes. The thrust from the turbo jets get me noticeably excited and I see Batman’s wanting stare from the rear view mirror. He switches on the autopilot and leaps into the backseat with me. I immediately straddle him, unclasp his utility belt, expose his firm, vulnerable body and take his heroic member inside me. We intensely make love as the batmobile roars through Gotham’s streets like an amped-up New York City carriage ride.

Commissioner Gordon’s desk

I walk through the police station, pass a box of donuts and into commissioner Gordon’s office. I have some information that the commissioner might find useful. It’s pitch dark in his office, I guess he’s got an emergency call. I’ll just sit here and wait for him… Wait a minute, what’s this? I take a few steps to commissioner Gordon’s desk . I reach out and trace my fingers down a slick shiny black – OUCH! Quick pain like a giant paper-cut vibrating from tip of my finger. I pick up the devil with my sleeve over my hand. It’s a batarang. I feel someone in the room, I turn around and stare into the dark. I take a step and walk right into him. His scent overwhelms me as he bends down to kiss me. His lips melt onto mine and I lose control and drop the batarang with a clank. The kiss is harder, rougher. His hands move from my face, to my hips to my rear. He grabs hard and picks me up, lay onto the desk of papers. I wrap my legs around him and feel the plates of armor on his chest with my hands, they slide up to his face, my fingertips tracing his jaw line and mouth while we kiss. I hear someone at the door but Batman was already two steps ahead of me… Already moved us out the window and the last thing I hear is the click of the desk lamp and Commissioner Gordon’s exclamation, “What the devil?” before I get lost again in the dark.

So now I’m thinking really hard, “Batman will show up and save me from the Joker”, because as I type this the mad clown has got all my girlfriends tied up and his goons are having their way with them. Good thing I’m small, they’ll never find me hiding in the kitchen cabinets. At least I hope not…Where are you Batman?

Featuring Juliet as Batgirl and Erin as Batman.