Tatyana

Dear Beautiful Lady,
You would look hot in a pink bikini.
No need for swelling gorilla glue.
You are the perfect height
To punch out a certain kangaroo.
Some people are natural insect repellants.
You are the opposite,
Butterflies flock to your excellence.
Lets sit down together with some chocolate
And take in the refreshment
Of your witty…[Read more]

Remember when the dungeon was a disco?
You played music sweeter than Nabisco.
Remember when the Nuru Massage room was a nice little Jacuzzi?
You made sure it never got too boozy.
Remember when the walk room was a formal dining room?
When the only thing formal in there was the gloom.
Remember when Playland was a spa?
You’ve been here through…[Read more]

Roses are red, violets are blue,
A young Asian girl has caused a hullabaloo.

To call you merely an artist is an arrant misuse of words.
Rather, you are queen of the royal academy of the bees and the birds.

You are beyond blue in the spectrum.
I’ll be your willing victim.

If you are a thief of the heart,
I want to burglarize too, because…[Read more]

Roses are red, violets are blue,
A young Asian girl has caused a hullabaloo.

To call you merely an artist is an arrant misuse of words.
Rather, you are queen of the royal academy of the bees and the birds.

You are beyond blue in the spectrum.
I’ll be your willing victim.

If you are a thief of the heart,
I want to be a burglar too, because…[Read more]

Whether you’re a cabin boy, a college boy, a wolf boy, a farm boy, a golden boy, a mamma’s boy, a whipping boy, an office boy, a bok choy, the hoi polloi, the real McCoy, a back room boy, an errand boy, or an alter boy
this woman will be your Helen of Troy.

If you’re a chairman, an airman, a congressman, a caveman, a delivery man, a doberman, an…[Read more]

Whether you’re a cabin boy, a college boy, a wolf boy, a farm boy, a golden boy, a mamma’s boy, a whipping boy, an office boy, a bok choy, the hoi polloi, the real McCoy, a back room boy, an errand boy, or an alter boy
this woman will be your Helen of Troy.

If you’re a chairman, an airman, a congressman, a caveman, a delivery man, a doberman, an…[Read more]

Whether you’re a cabin boy, a college boy, a wolf boy, a farm boy, a golden boy, a mamma’s boy, a whipping boy, an office boy, a bok choy, the hoi polloi, the real McCoy, a back room boy, an errand boy, or an alter boy
this woman will be your Helen of Troy.

If you’re a chairman, an airman, a congressman, a caveman, a delivery man, a doberman, an…[Read more]

Whether you’re a cabin boy, a college boy, a wolf boy, a farm boy, a golden boy, a mamma’s boy, a whipping boy, an office boy, a bok choy, the hoi polloi, the real McCoy, a back room boy, an errand boy, or an alter boy
this woman will be your Helen of Troy.

If you’re a chairman, an airman, a congressman, a caveman, a delivery man, a doberman, an…[Read more]

Whether you’re a cabin boy, a college boy, a wolf boy, a bat boy, a farm boy, a golden boy, a mamma’s boy, a whipping boy, an office boy, a bok choy, the hoi polloi, the real McCoy, a back room boy, an errand boy, or an alter boy
this woman will be your Helen of Troy.

If you’re a chairman, an airman, a congressman, a caveman, a delivery man, a…[Read more]

Dear Extraordinary Madam,
I will try to explain the
the quality of your reign
But your beauty is hard to fathom.

Your cheeks are naturally rosy and flushed.
Or is that because we ignore
“All available ladies to the bar!”

Your gorgeous brown hair is perfectly coifed.
Not one gray hair, not even after we composed
A sign for the parlor…[Read more]

Dear Extraordinary Madam,
I will try to explain the
the quality of your reign
But your beauty is hard to fathom.

Your cheeks are rosy and flushed.
Or is that because we ignore
“All available ladies to the bar!”

Your gorgeous brown hair is perfectly coifed.
Not one gray hair, not even after we composed
A sign for the parlor door
Saying,…[Read more]

Dear Mish Mish,
You’re faster than NASCAR.
Your tail goes swish swish.
Sleeker than a Jaguar,
Every man’s wish wish,
Is to join you for your Bud Light shower
To see what’s in your soap dish dish.
No wonder they send you acres of flowers.
I know the sea is full of fish fish
But none have your dimples and your adorable southern drawl
Others are…[Read more]

In Helena, it’s illegal to dance on the table in a saloon
wearing less than three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
But your gorgeous blue eyes, Ms. Montana, have me over the moon
and, in this poem I’m composing,
I see you taking off one piece at a time
until you’re wearing nothing but your sublime
smooth tan skin with your thirty ought six balanced…[Read more]