You probably know a lot about your partner. Their goals in life. Their favorite movies. Their most useless talent. What name they would like if they ever join the witness protection program. But how often do you openly and honestly discuss your sexual fantasies?
If you’re like the majority of us, not often enough. Even in long-term monogamous relationships, we’ve been trained to keep our deepest fantasies more heavily guarded than the White House. We all have them… we all have the sexy daydreams or imagined scenarios that really get us hot and bothered. However, there’s a big divide between our ability to have fantasies and our ability to share them. With anyone.
Your go-to sexual fantasy probably isn’t as unique as you think. As Justin Lehmiller, sexual researcher, writes in his book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life:
- 89% of those surveyed had fantasized about participating in a threesome
- 82% fantasized about having sex in an “unusual” place
- 72% had fantasized about being in an open relationship
- 65% fantasized about experimenting with BDSM
- 59% of women fantasized about sex with other women
- 58% fantasized about watching their partner have sex with another person
- 32% fantasized about being watched during sex
With such a large percentage of the population interested in experimenting, it’s no surprise that 15% of the clients seen at Sheri’s Ranch in 2017 were couples, with the number rising every day.
Rouge is a licensed courtesan at Sheri’s Ranch near Las Vegas, Nevada
So, you wanna have a threeway?
Why is the idea of having a threesome so popular? Probably because monogamy can become… well… monotonous. It does not mean your partner no longer finds you attractive, wishes to be in a romantic relationship with another person, or that they are a sexual deviant. Wishing to experiment, explore, and try new things is as basic a human desire as food or sleep.
A good threesome isn’t, “first you, then the other,” it’s all three people engaging together, combining their erotic energy into a common experience. When this works, it can be incredibly powerful and unforgettable experience. After all, three mouths, six hands, and three sets of *ahem* offer an endless array of combinations- sounds pretty enticing, no?
If you and your partner have decided to invite a third (or more!) person into the bedroom, congratulations! You’re now on the path to having a more awesome sex life. High five. Pop the champagne and get ready for the hard part.
Choosing an addition
Remember being the last kid picked for dodge ball in grade school? Being the third wheel during a threesome is the grown-up equivalent of that rejection — and joining a team you don’t want to be a part of in the first place can be even worse. The worst though, is having a close team fall apart because of poor communication and complex emotions.
Just in case my analogy isn’t clear: it is important both partners and their chosen companion are a compatible match, sexually and emotionally. For some, this will mean inviting in a close friend or attempting to meet someone new in the wild. However, this always runs the risk of complications, exposure, and hurt feelings.
For many though, this will mean seeking the advice and services of professionals. Many ladies at Sheri’s are genuinely bisexual, and truly enjoy helping their guests explore in a safe, discreet, and clean environment. We are experts in creating a sexy, comfortable play space, without the pressure or commitment of someone you may see grocery shopping next week. It is our pleasure- and literal jobs- to ensure you are satisfied and have a wonderful time.
There are a few ways to choose a companion. You can either email your lady(s) of choice (pro-tip, if she sees couples, it will be listed on her profile) and arrange a time to meet, or you can walk into our bar and have a private chat with the ladies currently available in the house.
Establishing Boundaries
So you’ve decided to have a threesome, wisely chosen to visit Sheri’s, and have contemplated which courtesans you are mutually interested in. You’re ready now, right?
Not at all.
The most crucial step is now openly, honestly, and thoroughly discussing your expectations. What about the idea of a threesome excites you? What are you hoping to get out of your party? A mind-blowing memory? New techniques? How does this fantasy play out in your mind? What happens after? Is it a naughty secret, left behind closed doors? Or is this a stepping stone into a swinger lifestyle?
It is equally important that you create boundaries between you, your partner, and the third/fourth/fifth/etc. before the actual party. Once the party starts, you might be so turned on and overwhelmed with activity that you’ll want to toss those rules right out the window, but creating boundaries and sticking to them will prevent post threesome regrets.
This may involve expanding your notion on what a threesome actually entails. It’s your fantasy, your experience, your threesome, after all. At Sheri’s, we offer:
Genuine Threesome All parties play together equally
Voyeur One partner plays, while one partner watches
Exhibitionism The partners play, the courtesan watches
Sexual Education Learn some new techniques, refine some old ones
Sex Aids Learn about toys, wedges, swings, balls, etc
Orgy The more the merrier
Specialty Parties NURU, BDSM, Porn Star Experience, anything you can imagine
The more you can communicate your expectations, desires, and boundaries with your companion of choice, the more mind blowing your experience will be. Remember, we are here to make both of you happy, but we cannot read minds. During your pre-party discussion, don’t be afraid to mention if you want to try something, not try something, etc. If you have hard limits, that’s the time to mention them. There is no correct or incorrect way to experience a three-way.
Communication, including the right to withdraw consent, does not stop once the party begins. Perhaps you agreed prior to certain activities, but now you are feeling as though it’s just too uncomfortable. Before and during, if you ever feel uneasy, speak up with a simple, “Can we slow this down a bit?” Seize the opportunity to regroup and re-immerse yourself in the experience.
New sexual adventures can cause emotions to bubble up after they’re over. Even if you’ve discussed the risk of jealousy beforehand (which you absolutely should have), things might change once you’re actually in the act. Talk with your partner afterwards to discuss how you both felt, and whether you’d like to go for round two. Discussing your favorite memories is a great way to find new ways you can please each other, too. If you didn’t enjoy the threesome, either don’t do it again or learn from your experience and jump back on the (three-person) saddle better equipped the next time.
And if you did enjoy it well… you know where to find us.