The world changed forever when Anastasia Steele walked into the office of Christian Grey and the two iconic E.L. James characters started a tumultuous romance, fueled by deliciously kinky sex and BDSM, that stirred the loins of millions of mommies across the globe.

Thanks to the novel Fifty Shades of Grey, the seductive subcultures of bondage, dominance, sadomasochism, and a wealth of other depravities, have been introduced to mainstream society in a big way. How big? Well, big enough for at least one of Nevada’s legal bordellos to see so significant an increase in bookings for BDSM and fetish appointments, that we had to up the number of courtesans on staff who specialize in this type of experience.

Men, women, and couples from Middle America have been flocking to Sheri’s Ranch to learn Fifty Shades-style kink from the women who know it best. With the release of the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey on February 13^th, we expect even more interest in our fetish services. In preparation for this cinematic event, and the effect it will have on people with a latent love for debauchery, we present five ways that enthusiasts can reenact scenes from the upcoming film and live out their Fifty Shades fantasies in the discreet, safe, and STD-free setting of the Las Vegas area’s premier legal bordello.

1. The “Red Room of Pain”

Christian Grey has his own personal sex chamber – and so do the customers of Sheri’s Ranch! Sheri’s has a fully stocked BDSM specialty dungeon with industrial strength shackles, chains, and riding crops that would make even E.L. James blush. Here you can learn the basics of bondage from one (or more) of Sheri’s highly proficient dominatrixes, and begin your journey into a world of unmatched pleasure, sprinkled with just the right amount of pain. For an even more authentic Fifty Shades bondage session, bring your own plastic cable ties…

2. Sensory-Deprivation Sex

Remember when Anastasia was shackled to the bed, blindfolded with music blaring in her headphones, as delicate flogging, oral sex, and other tantalizing sensations delightfully overloaded her remaining senses? Allow yourself to lose control as your courtesan of choice takes you into the stimulating realm of sensory-deprived eroticism. And, yes, Sheri’s ladies have ‘Spem In Alium’ on their iPods.

3. Bathtub Blow Job

No woman on the planet possesses better oral sex skills than a Sheri’s Ranch courtesan. Combine the satiny sweet mouths of these sex kittens with the intoxicating environment of Sheri’s bubble bath room, and you just one-upped Christian and Anastasia.

4. Silk-Tie Oral Sex

Can you restrain your Sheri’s lady with your silk necktie and passionately go down on her as she writhes in rapturous pleasure? You bet you can! (We accept all major credit cards.)

5. Ben Wa Balls Spanking

Spanking is pretty much mandatory in a Fifty Shades fetish session at Sheri’s Ranch. But, as fans know, it’s not genuine unless the spankee has Ben Wa balls strategically placed in her vagina to get that distinctly Christianesque sensation. We got the balls, and the vaginas.

 

Bonus: Period Sex

It’s apparently not in the film version, but when Christian threw Anastasia against the sink and pulled out her tampon for some…uh…hot period sex, some people were really turned on. Do the ladies of Sheri’s Ranch offer this fetish? Every girl has her price…

Photos feature Akira, a legal courtesan from Sheri’s Ranch.