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    A Smart Woman…



    were theres a whip theres a way oddly fasterpussycat band



    Joke of the day

    What NOT to say when stopped by a police officer…



    “When I die, I want it to be on the upstroke. That way I get one for free”.
    – My Dad



    Arnaud Amaury or Arnaud Amalric was a Cistercian Abbot who was in charge of the Crusader army that sacked Béziers in the Albigensian Crusade 1209 to 1229. He distinguished himself by the zeal with which he incited men by his preaching to crusade against the enemy. Arnaul Amalric is most remembered for allegedly advising a Crusader how to distinguish the Cathars from the Catholics because the soldier was worried about killing orthodox Catholics along with the heretics during the sack of the Cathar stronghold of Béziers. Arnaud Amalric responded, “Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius.” (“Kill them all. For the Lord knows those that are His.”)

    This is the origin of the modern phrase, “Kill them all and let God sort them out.”


    Paloma Del Castillo

    “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
    – Woody Allen

    Make your appointment with me here
    I can only answer your emails when I’m visiting the Ranch on the following dates:
    August 3rd-August 18th
    September 28th-Oct 6th
    November 2nd-November 9th



    My philosophy in a nut shell!



    “A liberal’s paradise would be a place where everybody has guaranteed employment, free comprehensive healthcare, free education, free food, free housing, free clothing, free utilities, and only law enforcement has guns. And believe it or not, such a place does indeed already exist: It’s called Prison.” ~ Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Maricopa County, Arizona



    Death by Snu-Snu!

    Death by Snu-Snu – is a term used to proclaim a death sentence by means of endless sex forced on a man by an infinite number of women. The term is acquired from a Futurama episode in which the main characters are condemned to “Death by Snu-Snu” by an alien matriarchal society, ignorant of the earthling male’s view of this as a most fitting death. “Death by Snu-Snu” basically means “death by endless sex” forced upon a man by women who hate men and kill them by having sex with them until their pelvis is crushed and they die. Whenever they condemn a man to this fate, the women chant, “Death by Snu-Snu!”



    Monica Lewinsky’s love handles

    After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself naked in a mirror. She remembered her younger days with Bill Clinton, and thought about the way she looked at that time.

    Monica’s frustration over her inability to lose weight was depressing. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on GOD for help. “GOD, if you take away my love handles, I’ll devote my life to You,” she prayed!

    And just like that, poof, her ears fell off!

    I just love a happy ending!



    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

    Frank Herbert



    If you change the way you look at things, the way you look at things will change.



    My brother sent me this text recently. It read, “Can I stay at your house for a while? My wife kicked me out after she caught me measuring my dick. For what it’s worth, it reaches all the way to the back of her sister’s throat!”




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    “The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” ~ Albert Einstein



    I too was once a male trapped in a female’s body, but them I was born! ~ Chuck Norris



    The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence of, but in the mastery of his passions. – Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 – 1892)


    Iris Sparks

    “Life is too important a subject to take seriously… To live, that is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, and that is all.” -Oscar Wilde

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