Since the beginning of human civilization, we have been captivated by members of society who have achieved an incredible degree of popularity and recognition for their deeds. Whether it’s a beautiful ruler like Cleopatra or a scandalous figure like Rasputin, the far reaching fame acquired by celebrities make them a part of the human conversation, whether they like it or not.
Of course, the human conversation includes the titillating subject of sex – and our obsession with the sexuality, sexiness, and sex lives of the celebrities we fancy is evidenced by the trending topics, news articles, and video programs centering on celebrity culture. The internet is overflowing with reports about celebrity sex tapes, relationship rumors, and numerous headlines like “Sexiest Man Alive” or “This Year’s Sexiest Stars.”
At Sheri’s Ranch, the Las Vegas area’s premier legal brothel, the subject of sex and celebrities comes up as often as you might imagine. The licensed courtesans of Nevada can be as enamored as anyone else when a famous figure walks through the bordello’s door. These women are wardens of their celebrity clientele’s most safeguarded sexual secrets, but such libertine ladies make no secret of their own aspirations when it comes to the celebrities they’d like to get down and dirty with.
Provided here is the first ever celebrity wish list released by the courtesans of Sheri’s Ranch. This list only includes public figures who have not yet been serviced by these prostitutes. Of course, the odds of Barack and Michelle Obama popping by the brothel for a threesome is somewhere between 0% and a-snowball’s-chance-in-hell, but who knows, maybe at least one of the ladies will get their wish if Simon Schama is feeling randy next time he’s in the Silver State?
Hooker Celebrity Wish List
Below is a little more detail on exactly why each courtesan chose her celebrity…
The President and his First Lady are in need of a break from the Oval Office. We can all discreetly get our rocks off in Nevada, avoiding a Clinton-style Scandal. For the ultimate role play experience I would love to start with the President and his lady in our mock-office in Playland. They are getting ready to retire for the evening and, being their secretary, I am finishing work at my desk to go home for the night. It is just the 3 of us alone with the Secret Service agents outside. Security is important so cameras are hidden everywhere and one happens to be positioned under my desk. Always curious what it would be like to be intimate with someone with so much power, I start touching myself in hopes of them catching me on camera. Behind closed doors of the office the President and his wife come across my surveillance. The First Lady has wanted to spice up their relationship for some time, so she approaches me at my desk and asks if I could please her the same way. We start fondling each other’s curves at my desk while the president is getting a show of his own on camera. The First Lady is getting aroused with every touch and opening herself to new sexual pleasure. Enjoying each other’s company the First Lady also wanted to give her husband an oral experience he could never forget. We plot our attack and make our way to the Oval Office and open the door… The rest is confidential.
My celebrity would have to be Pharrell Williams because he has a very cute baby face and makes amazing music. The party that I would want to have with him would be a sex swing experience. I have never used a sex swing before and I want to be picked up by him and have sex in as many positions as we can come up with. I’d be waiting for him wearing only an oversized Ice Cream hoody that he can unzip to reveal his sexy little Asian fan.
My celebrity wish is Simon Schama. Blank stares? Come on, people. He’s an historian. Remember A History Of Britain? Simon Schama may appear to be a slightly shlubby, older Englishman, but when he opens his mouth he is hotter than Bradley Cooper. I don’t drink, but when Simon Schama says, “In Vino Veritas!” – it makes me reconsider. I would love to stare in Simon’s eyes for hours and listen to him talk about the Middle Ages, or Beethoven, or ANYTHING. I wish Simon Schama would go the full Monty with me.
I choose Ryan Gosling. I would want him to romance me. I think we would have a LOT of fun together, drinking and dancing and just enjoying each other’s company. I would really like him to DRIVE me in front of a romantic fireplace on a cold desert night.
My other celebrity would be Laura Prepon. We would have a totally wild party. I would love to use light restraints on her for a while and then take them off because I would want her to touch me. I also would like to use the tantra chair with her and have mutual oral sex. I would also like to penetrate her with my strap on while watching a girl on girl porn. I think she’d love it.
There in nothing sexier than wits, charm, and intellect. Anderson Cooper is quite the man. Charismatic, full of charm, intellect, and mesmerizing baby blues that will make any gal melt. He is so well rounded and is incredibly accomplished. He has had the opportunity to correspond with all walks of life and possesses a sincere concern for the underprivileged and victimized. It is such a turn on when a man possesses so many amazing attributes, and is a widely respected public figure.
Obviously, I would love to get my hands on Anderson Cooper! Although he is openly gay, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that may change his mind, and send him spinning into a whirlwind. I would spend an unforgettable evening with him, seductively reacquainting him with all the intricate curves of my voluptuous body. Heck, if that doesn’t work, I have a few toys and other naughty contraptions he’s sure to love!
Watch out Anderson I am coming for you, and your baby blues!
My celebrity fantasy is Prince Harry. Redheads do it better, and I’ve never had the pleasure of being with another redhead to test this theory out. Honestly if I had him we could do anything he wished, I’d be just ecstatic that he chose me! The thought of him bringing me to the tower of London and draping the crown jewels over my silky porcelain skin as he kisses and caresses my breast makes me drip with passion. His need to tease and tantalize every fiber of my being is extremely intense. I whisper in his ear “you have full control of my body my prince” He replies “turn around and grasp your hands behind your neck”. With a gentle but firm tug on my hair I comply, I feel something very soft and silky graze my skin… Oh this is torture… He wraps the silk around my wrist and attaches it to the bedpost….
I would choose Johnny Depp. How could you not? That man is beautiful! I would want to do something wild and crazy with him, maybe even have him dress up as a pirate. Our whole experience would be incredibly sensual and erotic. I would let him do just about anything he wants to me!
I would choose Charlie Sheen because he is a player! He doesn’t stay with one woman for very long and I can relate to that. For our party I would give him the best experience possible. It would include multiple orgasms and some domination. I want to dominate him because he has been a bad boy and needs to be taught a lesson. I would love to keep him hostage by tying him down until he begs me to let him go; I would only let him go on one condition which would be for him to cum for me one more time.
My celebrity would be Kevin James because he is absolutely adorable and seems like he would be a lot of fun to spend time with. He usually plays the ordinary guy or everyman in his films, but we all know that he’s nothing short of extraordinary. I want to have an all night party with him. We would have to go in to the fantasy role play suites and use as many rooms as possible, but I would want to spend most of my time in the GFE room and I think he would too. I want to have the whole girlfriend experience with him, eating an amazing meal, playing naked wii, watching movies, cuddling, and lots of sex. Get ready Kevin, here comes the boom!
Denzel Washington. He’s very sexy! I’m sure we could show each other a thing or two and I would love to have a GFE with some domination and make him beg for me, be my sex slave…mmm…my mind is wandering now! I’d love to walk on his back with heels on, maybe a bubble bath and have him massage me. Rope, massage oils, and blind folds…yum!
I would pick Channing Tatum. When I saw him in the movie Magic Mike there is this scene when he is dancing to the song “pony”, during the song while doing his routine he picks this girl up in her chair. It was really hot! I want him to pick me up and play out the scene when his dancing to the “Pony” song. I would want to be in playland so I could show him the 260 different positions on the Tantra chair. We would move from the chair to the swing and see how much fun we could have trying out any and all scenarios that we can think of. After we slept for a bit, Channing gives me a full body massage. Ahh, the perfect party.
Angelina Jolie would be my celebrity crush. Her lips look so kissably soft and juicy. I would love to caress every inch of her body with my hands and tongue. I love that she is sexually confident and explorative. I’d enjoy sharing Brad Pitt in a couples party. We’d blow his mind away with her sitting on his face while i ride his manhood. I can feel her breast entering my lips and as I suck them I squirt all over Brad Pitt, Then I would lay Angelina on her back and kiss both sets of lips ever so gently until she begs to have Brad slide his rigid member inside her and begs for me to straddle her face. You know I was right….those lips are very juicy and soft!
OK, I guess I can’t choose just one so I’m going to wish for a group experience with the following notable peeps:
L’il Wayne – Because he’s oddly handsome with an intelligence and wit that pretty much guarantee he’ll rock my mind and body. He’s crazy. I like crazy.
Jon Bon Jovi – In some old 501’s and nothing else.
Helen Mirren – You can just see that wild streak in her. I’ll bet she’s an excellent kisser, among other things.
LL Cool J – Come on, the guy says he can electrocute a barracuda. And look at how he licks his lips!
Beyonce – I don’t really need to explain this. Do I?
And finally, The guy who lives around the corner from me. He knows who he is…