- This topic has 380 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 9 months ago by
. This post has been viewed 37467 times
-
Posts
-
We can’t command our love, but we can our actions. ~ Arthur Conan Doyle
A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. ~ Saint Basil
Who is wise in love, love most, say least. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
Let deeds match words. ~ Plautus
Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue. ~ Buddha
Silence is true wisdom’s best reply. ~ Euripides
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~ Albert Einstein
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~ Dalai Lama
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~ Dalai Lama
The purpose of our lives is to be happy. ~ Dalai Lama
The perks of sex extend well beyond the bedroom. Sex helps keep your immune system humming, boosts your libido, improves women’s bladder control, lowers blood pressure, counts as exercise, lowers heart attack risk, lessens pain, may make prostate cancer less likely, improves sleep and eases stress. ~ Web MD
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sex-and-health“When love is not madness, it is not love!” ~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca
“I enjoyed sex and indulged in it when I fancied the men!” ~ Christine Keeler
“The major civilizing force in the world is not religion, it is sex!” ~ Hugh Hefner
Subject: Marathon Sex
I couldn’t help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar.
One of the guys says to his buddy, “Man you look tired.”
His buddy says, “Dude I’m exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. I just don’t know what to do.”
A fellow about my age (66), sitting a couple of stools down had also over-heard the conversation. He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says, “Marry her; that’ll put a stop to it immediately!”
Cunnilingus is like gently licking the dressing off a salad without biting the lettuce. Even if you’re a master swordsman, your penis can’t compete with your tongue in terms of creating clitoral stimulation. Why? The overwhelming erogenous sensation cunnilingus provides is unbelievably climactic. ~ Zorro
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great!” ~ Mark Twain
Joke of the Day…
$7 SEX
A Nevada couple both well into their 50’s go to a Sex Therapist’s office.
The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’
The man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?’
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that an experienced couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.’ He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave. Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, ‘I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?’
The man says, ‘We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married, so we can’t go to her house. I’m married, and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all… OBUMMERCARE pays $43 of it!
Joke of the Day…
A mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
“What happened?” she asks anxiously.
“What happened… I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home… and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter, my Jean, naked in our marital bed with another man! This is unforgivable and the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”
“Calm down, calm down!” says his mother-in-law. “There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. “I told you there must be a simple explanation… she didn’t receive your email!”
Joke of the Day…
A Caring Word from an Air Force Pilot
During a commercial airline flight an experienced US Air Force pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.
The pilot pretended not to notice and upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, “that’s a good looking baby and the little tike sure was hungry!”
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby’s ears.
The pilot sadly shook his head and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, “And to think I’ve wasted all these years using chewing gum.”
Politically Incorrect Jokes of the Day!
A term known as ‘Lesbionics’ (Pertaining to Lesbian activities and nature.)
1. What do you call a pantry full of Lesbians?
A licker cabinet.2. Why can’t Lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
Because they can’t eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.3. What is a Lesbian dinosaur called?
A Lickalotapuss.4. What do you call Lesbian twins?
Lick-a-likes.5. What’s the definition of mass confusion?
Twenty blind Lesbians in a fish market.6. What’s the difference between a Ritz cracker and a Lesbian?
One’s a snack cracker; the other’s a crack snacker.7. How can you tell a tough Lesbian bar?
Even the pool table doesn’t have balls.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.