- This topic has 380 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by
. This post has been viewed 39799 times
-
Posts
-
“Healthy, lusty sex is wonderful!” ~ John Wayne (The Duke)
“A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave!” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
“It is not true that sex degrades women… that is if it is any good.” ~ Alan Partridge
“It’s the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time!” ~ Tallulah Bankhead
Joke of the Day…
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still look sexy! ~ ParaprosdokianGoing to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car! ~ Paraprosdokian
I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you! ~ Paraprosdokian
Q, is it possible to be in love with more than one woman at a time?
A, visit sheris and you’ll find the answer is yes !!!
Reason, there all so freaking beautiful and heavenly 🙂
Joke of the Day… or is it?
“Morning Sex”
My lover was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, and wearing only the T-shirt in which she normally slept.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!”
My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or is this is going to be my lucky day!”
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”
She explained, “The egg timer’s broken!”
You do not need a parachute to skydive; you only need a parachute to skydive twice! ~ Paraprosdokian
Joke of the day… I think?
“In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it was a cure.”“The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant.”
“A man without a woman is like a fish without water!” ~ Jennifer Kesler
“I know I’ll never come to face to face with anything that takes the place of a woman’s love!” ~ Alan Jackson
If you always do what you’ve always done,
You’ll always get what you always got.Tony DiNozzo (NCIS)
“Give a man free hands, and you’ll know where to find them!” ~ Mae West
“Treat other people in the same manner you wish to be treated in return!” ~ The Humanitarian Rule
“Treat all men alike. Give them the same law. Give them an even chance to live and grow!” ~ Chief Joseph
“If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time!” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Sex without love or romance is merely healthy exercise!” ~ Robert A. Heinlein
Two Ironies to share (an irony being a humorous comparison):
Irony 1.
We are told NOT to judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics.”
BUT, on the other hand, “We are encouraged TO judge ALL Gun Owners and NRA Members by the actions of a few lunatics.”
How is that supposed to be logical thinking?Irony 2.
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever to 47.5 million people (most recent figures available April 2013).
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Dept. of the Interior, tells us “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” One of their stated reasons for the policy is because “the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”
I’m confused at their apparent contradictory logic. http://www.nps.gov/grca/naturescience/wildlife_alert.htmThus ends today’s two lessons in irony.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.