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Viewing 20 posts - 241 through 260 (of 380 total)
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  • #5878
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “Healthy, lusty sex is wonderful!” ~ John Wayne (The Duke)

    #5928
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave!” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

    #5930
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “It is not true that sex degrades women… that is if it is any good.” ~ Alan Partridge

    #5931
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “It’s the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time!” ~ Tallulah Bankhead

    #5932
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Joke of the Day…
    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still look sexy! ~ Paraprosdokian

    #5933
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car! ~ Paraprosdokian

    #5934
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you! ~ Paraprosdokian

    #5935
    UKpete
    Participant

    Q, is it possible to be in love with more than one woman at a time?

    A, visit sheris and you’ll find the answer is yes !!!

    Reason, there all so freaking beautiful and heavenly 🙂

    #5939
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Joke of the Day… or is it?

    “Morning Sex”

    My lover was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, and wearing only the T-shirt in which she normally slept.

    As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!”

    My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or is this is going to be my lucky day!”
    Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

    Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

    Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”

    She explained, “The egg timer’s broken!”

    #5947
    schwalsr
    Participant

    “The egg timer’s broken!”…. LMAO

    #6118
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You do not need a parachute to skydive; you only need a parachute to skydive twice! ~ Paraprosdokian

    #6163
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Joke of the day… I think?
    “In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it was a cure.”

    #6174
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant.”

    #6184
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “A man without a woman is like a fish without water!” ~ Jennifer Kesler

    #6199
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “I know I’ll never come to face to face with anything that takes the place of a woman’s love!” ~ Alan Jackson

    #6200
    UKpete
    Participant

    If you always do what you’ve always done,
    You’ll always get what you always got.

    Tony DiNozzo (NCIS)

    #6209
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “Give a man free hands, and you’ll know where to find them!” ~ Mae West

    #6218
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “Treat other people in the same manner you wish to be treated in return!” ~ The Humanitarian Rule

    “Treat all men alike. Give them the same law. Give them an even chance to live and grow!” ~ Chief Joseph

    “If you treat people right they will treat you right… ninety percent of the time!” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

    #6222
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    “Sex without love or romance is merely healthy exercise!” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

    #6223
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Two Ironies to share (an irony being a humorous comparison):

    Irony 1.
    We are told NOT to judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics.”
    BUT, on the other hand, “We are encouraged TO judge ALL Gun Owners and NRA Members by the actions of a few lunatics.”
    How is that supposed to be logical thinking?

    Irony 2.
    The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever to 47.5 million people (most recent figures available April 2013).
    Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Dept. of the Interior, tells us “Please Do Not Feed the Animals.” One of their stated reasons for the policy is because “the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves.”
    I’m confused at their apparent contradictory logic. http://www.nps.gov/grca/naturescience/wildlife_alert.htm

    Thus ends today’s two lessons in irony.

Viewing 20 posts - 241 through 260 (of 380 total)
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